De facto.
Unavoidable.
I am not saying that it changes you internally. You can still be the immovable, stoic, uncaring God-fearing man you have always been, that puts God and his mission first, but it still weakens you.
I do not care about the next life, we are talking about this mortal world.
Is the general still as powerful if his army has dysentery? Or perhaps better yet, is he still as powerful if he foolishly walked his army into an ambush? Even if he gets out alive, despite his loses?
Of course not.
Marriage has always weakened the man. Even in patriarchy. That is the reason there were dowries back in the days of good old patriarchy. You had to pay a man to marry the daughter. The less attractive the woman due to looks, age, temperament, the higher the dowry. The higher status the man, the higher the dowry as well. There were social incentives to get men to marry because it was not in their best interests.
There are still remnants of this with the bride’s family paying for the wedding.
Rome forced men to marry. That’s how bad a deal it was 2000 years ago.
If you are married, you are not as free as you once were. You may think you are, but logistically you have to consider the other person in your plans and that complicates things. If you have children it becomes even more complicated.
Your opportunities are adjusted because of the wife and children. You cannot pick up and leave (and still be married) you cannot live as cheaply. You’re earthly cares, duties and responsibilities are greater. If you love something, it will weaken you. Look at the movie the Magnificent Seven it clearly spells out that being a father will bend and twist you because of your love.
In our current society, you must provide for your children or you can be incarcerated, everything can be taken from you. Sure, you can be like Paul and sing hymns in the prison, but your power is diminished.
There is a reason women want to get married. The party that gains the most from a deal, will want it the most. Women know this, have always known this on some level, because most of them want to be married . . . even the independent ones want to be married someday.
Why do big business prefer married men for promotions?
Because married men are more controllable and the corporations know that. A single man can quit, a married one hustles. A married man will take shit that no single one would.
Why do churches push men to marriage?
Morality? Please.
Married men are more easily controlled, more easily kept in the fold, more easily used to extract resources.
Socially, as soon as you get married you signal provider beta status. The woman’s attraction diminishes (you don’t want as much something that you have). Women will not see you as alpha. It is a full 3 beta points tallied on you. 5 if you have kids. 10 if she had kids from another dude.
If you are brave enough to get married, I salute you. You are a braver man than me, Gunga Din.
