“This may sound horrible. I’m not all about status, but I bought matching $130 designer jeans for myself and my daughter” said the aging hipster.
“no” said one friend.
“no, we would never” said the other.
I laughed. I know this gal fairly well so I know everything she said before the but was a lie, or at best an obfuscation. Meant to assuage any guilt she may feel for in truth being all about status, but not wanting to appear that way.
Here’s a woman married to a division manager for a major international firm. Her husband is a natural alpha. Watching the two of them can be very instructive. This woman sees herself as a strong woman and a feminist. But around her husband his masculine dominance, his frame, makes her one of the most girly girls I’ve ever seen. In his presence she is more feminine and submissive than she is on her own. Really, a good, supporting wife and mother.
This woman keeps herself in shape. She’s also gone in for at least 3 plastic surgeries that I know. Her friends on the other hand don’t have the money for those things. While they are all fast approaching the wall or have hit it, she’s still looking pretty decent, if you’re into the hipster look on a middle aged gal.
This woman and her husband bought a cute early 20th century home in a highly desirable neighborhood. The house was, as houses used to be, extremely small. Only two bedrooms. They spent close to half a million on the home and are now spending another hundred grand plus remodeling the home. More power to them if they can afford it. With the housing market crash I believe they are upside down on the thing, or at least break even before spending the money on the remodel.
As the conversation between the three women evolved they started discussing the material things that they used to find so important. In high school it was having the car, a nice stereo, listening to the right music, and dressing in the right clothes. As they finished college, got a job and started earning for themselves, getting nicer cars and nicer clothes and accessories became important. Towards their late 20′s, getting the husband, the house, and the kids became more important. Now in their late 30′s, with looks starting to fade, it does appear that holding on to the looks is becoming a priority. Nicer cars or better yet, the right car to solidify your status as a caring, green individual. With the kids getting a little older, starting school, the competition becomes focused more on their children. Who has the smartest kid, what activities are they involved in that they, of course, excel above all others.
The rat race, the one upping doesn’t end, it just changes it’s shape and focus. As the conversation continued, I asked her if she’d ever seen Stuff White People Like. She of course had never heard of the site. I recommended she look it up when she got home. By my estimation she nailed a minimum of 81 out of 133 items currently on the list. To a Tee. I might have missed a couple of items. Mind you, the SWPL list tags me pretty good with at least 30 items too. I do hope she checks out the site. Maybe she’ll get the joke.
