Editor: In a comment in today’s Taxes and Child Support post, reader Alan B gives us a breakdown of of his own situation regarding child support and tax issues. Keep in mind while reading the following that Alan actually has legally recognized custody of one out the three children, so his tax burden and support is lower than would be typical in the situation. Nevertheless, his ex-wife receives not only a hefty monthly check (tax free) and a good deal of money toward expenses, but also receives thousands of dollars every year in tax credits, while he is left with less than half of his gross income. Although a high earner, after child support, expenses and taxes, Alan has a working-class disposable income. For many men, it is substantially worse.
All men considering marriage should read these accounts before stepping up the altar, so this comment definitely deserves its own post.
Alan B
if you want exact numbers, here ya go
i live in the NE.
i make just about 100k/yr
i pay medical insurance thru my job for all my kids and myself., invest a HUGE 3k/yr ( thats three thousand a YEAR on a 100 thousand a year salary)
my absolute musts are rent $2350 and commute to work $300. therefore i MUST have 2650 a month to have shelter and method of generating income. *note, im not counting food, cars, boats, girlfriends, gas, electric, soap, etc.
i have 3 children. my EX has custody of 2, and i have 1, all under the age of 18. she is re-married. her husband and her just filed jointly this year and they earned a total $11,980
i JUST got out of court last month, so the numbers are current.
for making 12k/yr and owning 2 of my children (25%) of MY takehome, my EX allows me to pay her $1976 per month AFTER TAXES. Her and her HUSBAND earn approx 6-7k in EIC because they make so little. child support is not claimed anywhere on anyone’s tax returns.., its invisible money.
so lets do HER math.
she (and hubby) earn 12k/yr, thats 1,000 a month. (hubby earns $$ off the books as well., but we wont count that.)
i pay all medical insurance, PLUS 92% (thats my share of the child care bills) of any co-pays or anything my ex wife says i have to pay.
i pay her 2k/mo for a total of 3k/mo AFTER TAXES (she and her husband dont pay taxes, they GET taxes)
thats 36k/yr TAKEHOME, plus the 6k EIC gift that daddy govt gives them.
my ex wife EARNS 42k/yr TAKE HOME PAY and she works a parttime job as does her husband.
My math. i earn just under $9000/mo GROSS (nice right? watch what happes)
without getting too detailed, my paycheck deductions are as follows (rounded) this is a paycheck, so multiply by 2 to get my monthly figures..
TOTAL $4455
-176, -61 -699 -228 -1.30 -988(c.s) -16 -10 -9 -43 -218(401k) -60 -133
all those are subtractions from my check, twice per month.
my final takehome pay is $1812 or $3624/month or $43,504 TAKEHOME per YEAR.
i leave my house at 7am and get home at 9pm (suburban commute)
i have the PRIVILEGE of keeping $43,504/yr for a 70/hr work week and her and her hubby get to pocket $42k/yr for holding part time jobs 2 blocks from home.
keep in mind, this all happens while *I* have custody of one of our three children.
again. recap…
DAD +1 Kid +70hr workweek = 44k/yr takehome pay
Mom +2Kids+New Hubby+40hr workweek(total for both) = 42k/yr takehome pay
BUT, if my kids want to sleep over (if i ever see them, they are teens, they have FRIENDS), i must maintain a 3 bedroom(at the minimum) apt/home, so that they have a place to sleep.
Now this is the kicker.. ready…
I was not “RAILROADED” in court. the judge followed the guidelines to a T, my ex doesnt harass me, the judge wasnt malicious.
This was STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE. it was a given. a normal day, no big fuckin deal. Thats the part alot of guys dont get.
You think family court is this big production and you have a chance to defend yourself, or at least say SOMETHING… NOPE.. not a chance. this is just how things are. its not looked at as , “YEA, Lets bend this guy over and take his shit.”
Its merely looked at as, “Hey, its your responsibility, like paying any other bill. get in line, dont complain, you’ll get ur turn to open ur wallet”
So lets re-cap yes.
I make 100k. Without any evil, malicious intent, just me paying my CS debt, i must pay close to $24,000 a year in CASH, AFTER TAXES to my ex.
After all deductions and what not i am in the %18 tax bracket or there-around, which i’ll call $15,000/yr
I work 70 hours, i make 100k
i pay the EX 36k
i pay the govt 15k
i KEEP 49k (thats HALF of my GROSS)
So my point is this…Guys… imagine if i got FUCKED in court. Imagine if the judge was having a bad day, or my ex pulled the rape/abuse/victim card, or i looked like an evil gang-member (or a wall-street tycoon, no diff really). What if i had to pay alimony on top of that?? Imagine if they REALLY STUCK IT TO ME. how bad would it be? 30k/yr 35k ?? That’s the roulette game you play with the courts.
btw, this is not a complaint. This is a breakdown of what my payments are so some can get a real-world idea of the numbers.
i pay my CS, it sucks, but yes, i make enough so that i can survive (cant LIVE on $1000 a month in the NE, but i cant make 100k/yr anywhere else). Guys, what if i was Joe Average and made only $50,000 a year and still lived where i lived? how bad would it be for me and my son then?
My brothers.. NEVER MARRY.. EVER (unless she’s the heiress, and you’re the pauper, then make sure there’s no prenup.. jeez i sound like a woman).
if you must start a family, THINK about it till you’re at LEAST 35, then think about it for 7 more years.
If you dont want to be one of them OLD dads that has no energy for your kids, DONT WORRY, your wife will divorce you looong before that happens. and you will spend all your time working to pay for HER nails, hair, shoes, boobs, lovers… um i mean her kids.. yea..
