I’m sure some readers recently went through the painful process of forking over a substantial chunk of change to Uncle Sam, and for those of us who are divorced and paying child support it can be an exceptionally depressing experience.
Most people don’t dwell on taxes too much, so it probably isn’t common knowledge that being a custodial parent confers not only a monthly check, but a tax bonanza as well. The overwhelmingly male non-custodial parent portion of our tax-paying population, on the other hand, gets slapped on both cheeks.
While it may not be news to a number of unfortunate guys (myself included) who shell out child support every month and then have to file as though we were single, unencumbered men, it’s worth making it perfectly clear to men who have not been so afflicted.
Here’s what happens:
When you pay child support, it is considered a personal expense, like buying diapers or clothes for your kids. This expense, however, is spent at the discretion of the custodial parent (i.e. mother), as though she were still your wife and going to the store for you. Plenty of women will probably think that sounds fair. Some men may, too. That’s OK, but this isn’t where it ends.
Because this transfer is considered a personal expense, it is not taxed. Therefore, the mother receives a substantial boost to income every month while the father takes a substantial cut. Now, this might be tolerable, but unlike alimony, fathers may not deduct child support from their taxes. Additionally, because the children do not live with fathers most of the time, the fathers may not claim children on the earned income credit, and when the mother works they usually cannot even claim the children as dependents, and therefore have no child-related deductions. Of course, they are not eligible for any other child tax credits either.
The mother, on the other hand, can claim all of these things, despite the fact that the father is paying a good deal of the child-related expenses, and often spending a quarter to a third of the time with the child(ren).
So, in addition to higher post-divorce expenses (usually, everyone loses financially in divorce), men are nailed with both child support and a much higher tax burden. A man making a middling income will often find himself post-divorce living like a part-time fry-cook. Sure, he may be making $4,000 a month or so, but after child support, taxes, rent for his crappy apartment and mortgage (for the house his ex-wife lives in), he isn’t going to have much left over. In fact, for all intents and purposes the guy is poor.
It often amazes me how little most men know about these issues before they get married. Every single discussion of the merits and drawbacks of marriage should address the most salient facts, and there is little more salient than the prospect of poverty if one’s wife decides she feels “unhappy.” It seems to me that too often we ignore these very relevant issues in favor of discussing the emotional or spiritual perks, but when it comes down to it marriage is a business in its own right. From a financial standpoint it is a very risky partnership, particularly for men.
Perhaps those who want to revive the institution ought to pay a lot more attention to the flaws inherent in the current setup. Given these flaws, shaming and appeals to honor can only have a limited effect as the wider culture adapts to the penalties by simply avoiding them. If do-gooders and women really want men to start getting married again, they’re going to have to come to the table and make some deals.
Eventually, I think they will. Men are starting to wise up, and when enough men know the score, they will be the ones holding the cards.
