~ archived since 2018 ~

So apparently expressing interest in females makes you a "creep"

carlsaganfuture

November 20, 2012

0 upvotes

/r/MensRights

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Post Information

Title	So apparently expressing interest in females makes you a "creep"
Author	carlsaganfuture
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	November 20, 2012 12:06 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/13h9h8/so_apparently_expressing_interest_in_females/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/so-apparently-expressing-interest-in-females-makes.1008810 https://theredarchive.com/post/1008810

Comments

[–]SCCROW 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NemosHero -3 points-2 points-1 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]trimyourbushes 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Why is it creepy? It's a very indirect way of showing interest. If you don't like it, then block the person 'liking' your photos from seeing them.

Or better yet, what isn't creepy these days? How do you show interest in a woman without being labeled a creep??

Here's how:

1) Be attractive. If you're average you're a creep.

2) Have money. If you're poor you're a creep.

3) Be perfect. If you're not exactly what she's looking for you're a creep.

Sounds sexist? Don't worry, I know not all women are so demanding. But what I just described is the only way of approaching women that never gets you called "creepy". Every other way, I've heard at least one woman refer to it as "creepy".

We need to revise the modern definition of "creepy". Creepy is approaching a girl with your dick hanging out of your zipper. Creepy is observing a girl in her home with a telescope. Creepy is taking her to a porn cinema on the first date. Creepy is sending a PM or text message to a girl you barely know and telling her you want to have sex with her. In other words, "creepy" is threatening or inappropriate behavior - it is not being awkward.

Liking photos on Facebook is not creepy. It just means "I like you and I'd like you to know you, but I'm shy/don't have the best social skills so I don't know how to approach you. So I'll tell you I like your photos, which hopefully you'll appreciate, and perhaps this will get you to notice me". A girl is free to say she doesn't like this approach, I'm not even saying she has to give the guy a fair chance, but people need to drop the "creepy" label.

"Creepy" is a word of oppression. It's used to oppress men - just label a guy "creepy" and it's instant shame and social ostracizing for him. This needs to stop. And let's ask women to stop the paranoia if they can't keep it to themselves (I'm paranoid too, but I don't go out and blame the people I'm paranoid of for it!). Women need to stop thinking that a guy has to be perfect, and if they aren't comfortable around him then he's automatically at fault. Nobody has ever been raped on Facebook. You can tell people on Facebook to leave you alone and you can block them, before you label them offensive things. Call him creepy when you've told him to leave you alone and he show's up at your home, gym or work.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]trimyourbushes -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, it does send a different message (I thought we were talking about 20 likes to the same girl).

But then again, I still don't think it's creepy. First of all, if a guy liked 1 photo for 20 different girls, I wouldn't assume he's trying to hit on them; rather, I think he's liking the photos of his friends and that's all. 1 photo per girl does not show he's trying to show interest or get attention from each girl.

Second, even if he were trying to hit on 20 girls, it just means none of these girls are special to him. Maybe he's looking for a serious relationship and trying to meet someone, but since not all the girls will be interested he tries contacting several at the same time to increase his chances of getting one positive response. It's not like he's dating 20 girls at once!

Or maybe he's just interested in sex, sure I admit it's a possibility.

But none of this is creepy. He's not threatening to rape or harass any of these girls. Call him shallow or say he only cares about sex if you want, but he's not a threat and thus not a creep.

Now if you're going with the idiotic definition of "creepy", i.e. "anything that I'm uncomfortable about is creepy" then yes, it's creepy. But that definition is wrong, as I have explained and demonstrated very well.

[–]NemosHero -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]trimyourbushes 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

It's only creepy because you assume the girl is crazy. In reality, it's very likely she just has poor social skills and doesn't really know how to show her interest for you. Maybe it also embarrassed you that she liked you, or you're just uncomfortable talking to people with poor social skills, so instead you switched the responsibility for your discomfort to her and you accused her of being creepy.

It's not your fault that you see it the way you did, society and the media teach us to be intolerant of people who are socially awkward. We're taught not to be concerned about others, to let them sort their problems alone, and we're told to blame people when they don't succeed at something.

But, just because you think someone is creepy, it doesn't mean they are. I provided examples and a clear definition of what creepy should be, and we should stick to that definition and stop labeling people who aren't outgoing jocks and cheerleaders with lots of dating experience as "creepy".

As for your example of approaching women, I've heard some women complain about that as well. Some women believe that complimenting their clothing is rude because it forces them to worry about what they wear constantly. Some women would complain that the situation where you approach them is wrong ("I don't like being hit on in the street", "I don't go to bars to be hit on", etc).

My point is, every method will work with some women, but every method will offend some women too. There is no method that is universally "not creepy", except for the one I mentioned in my previous post; and that's my point: we should ditch the "creepy" label when it is not clearly warranted, because otherwise almost everything is creepy.

People need to take responsibility for being uncomfortable about things that don't threaten them or aren't inappropriate. At the end of the day, it's just a bunch of clicks on a stupid button on Facebook.