If a non-custodial parent must miss a visit due to work obligations, and informed the other parent in advance, who is responsible for finding care?

ustael · 2012-11-12T21:43:36+00:00

To be honest. It is great that you gave her notice well in advanced. But still, if it is your weekend, IMHO, it is your responsibility to find child care. Granted, in a perfect world you two could work together to make it happen. But imagine if in the middle of your work week she told you she could not find care for an event she told you was coming up months before and said it was on you to take care of the kid because she could not find care. I do not think that would be right. I would say do your best to find care, or someone you guys may be able to find together. First and foremost the care of the child is what is important here. Then To figure out how to avoid these issues in the future. Stay strong and stand tall.

AnthonyZarat · 2012-11-12T23:46:50+00:00

I have every weekend visitation from Friday PM - Sunday PM w/ no restrictions

If you have every weekend, and if she actually lets you have your child ever weekend, then your situation is better than 99.99% of all fathers. Don't jeopardize this completely unheard of good fortune by saying ANYTHING. Solve the problem, and say a prayer tonight for the millions of fathers who never know when, or if, they will see their children again.

One day, when men's rights becomes more than a desperate movement to preserve a few fundamental civil rights, we can talk about how the custodial parent has a moral obligation to support the non-custodial parent's career, since that is where her child support comes from. This is NOT that time. This is a time when we count every blessing, because there are very few of them left.

chavelah · 2012-11-12T21:23:34+00:00

She's a bitch for not owning her part in the situation (i.e., you told her well in advance and she forgot), but ultimately, if you want a regular visitation schedule then you have to treat it as an absolute commitment. It's your parenting time, you're responsible for parenting your son or making other arrangements for his care. Your ex is not a member of your household and is not responsible for picking up your slack.

Your ex makes her work schedule on the assumption that you will exercise 100% of your parenting time. She's not obliged to consent to changes in the schedule - although it would be a nice thing for her to do. Similarly, when you originally told her that you'd be missing a weekend, it would have been a nice gesture to offer to pay for the sitter she'd need to hire in order to go to work. And maybe you did that, I dunno.

Essentially, if you want to keep your weekends, NEVER EVER SKIP ONE. Your son should be with you, or your folks, or your new partner, or your nanny, or whoever. Parenting time is a use-it-or-lose-it phenomenon for NCPs.

rightsbot · 2012-11-12T18:34:18+00:00

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Randomredditacnt · 2012-11-13T03:25:37+00:00

In a perfect world, she would be understanding and give you extra time to make up for what you lost.

I think it's unfair on both ends though. She shouldn't have to bend to your schedule, as you should have to for hers either. Maybe meet in the middle and pay 50% for a babysitter?

2012-11-13T11:35:25+00:00

Custodial rights? Huh? It's your child, not some legal requirement. Who cares what the moms excuse is, you left her because she's an idiot. Make sure your child is ok and make sure you're nurturing your kid and that your kid knows you love it. Forget about the mom, she's going to be a pain in your ass until your kid is 18.

2012-11-15T11:20:46+00:00

She needs to foot the bill.

2012-11-12T21:24:25+00:00

Gah this sounds like black mail.....I hope you are keeping a record of your interactions with her.

As the primary care giver i would say the responsibility is on her. Of course the system does not work on logic. I would say to cover your ass to find someone to watch the kid for you two.

Title	If a non-custodial parent must miss a visit due to work obligations, and informed the other parent in advance, who is responsible for finding care?
Author	nOrthSC
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	November 12, 2012 6:32 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/132oe9/if_a_noncustodial_parent_must_miss_a_visit_due_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/if-a-non-custodial-parent-must-miss-a-visit-due-to.1009388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1009388

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