Men Can Stop Rape - Mobilizing male youth to prevent men’s violence against women

HextorFreebish · 2008-11-11T20:11:26+00:00

These people are morally on thin ice with me.

I read their literature and what they do, and there were a few things that I appreciated. Such as the literature on the problem of prisoner rape in this country. Also the emphasis on young men being encouraged to not believe that they have to be dehumanized to become men. That nonsense that has been used to throw young men into the meat grinder in wars, coal mines, factories, etc since the industrial revolution is terrible.

There was the rest of it that I really did not appreciate. Sure it's great to spread the word that you'll stand up for the young women at your college or school. But how about spreading the word that you'll stand up for the band nerd who just got his clarinet thrown down the stairs? Not a priority in and of itself. But it would at least warrant an admonishing "Hey now, that culture of violence there engenders violent behavior towards women."

And then there's the bit in their literature that is outright wrong. It's in their pamphlet "Supporting Survivors." It says that false accusers of rape are as rare as accusers of other violent crimes. This is untrue. Empirical research indicates the true number to be at least half of cases in the only such study conducted.

At first glance this group does not seem entirely reprehensible. Then I ask myself what their reaction would be to a college mens' group that had a similar pamphlet "Supporting Victims" with pictures of the Duke Lacrosse players on the cover. A pamphlet that started out saying My best friend was accused of rape. He says he is innocent. Should I believe him? and follows with, Research shows that over half of rape accusations are outright fabrications. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt until he is proven guilty.

A lot of college women are deeply harmed by rape in their college years, and I support a concerted effort to put a stop to it. A lot of college men are deeply harmed by a false accusation of rape in their college years as well. Do these guys support putting a stop to that also? Are they really the friends of men, or do they believe that womens' suffering is our responsibility, and mens' suffering is our problem?

2008-11-11T22:55:51+00:00

This is an exchange I had with Pat McGann at MCSR.

Edited to hide my name. Pat is a public figure.

Dear pn6,

Thanks for contacting Men Can Stop Rape. Yes, we acknowledge it, although it is much less common.

Best, Pat

Pat McGann, Ph.D.

Communications Director

MenCanStop*Rape

PO Box 57144

Washington, DC 20037

202.265.6530, ext. 20

www.mencanstoprape.org

CFC #11214

-----Original Message-----

From: "pn6"

Sent: Sunday, December 09, 2007 11:07 PM

To: Pat McGann

Subject: Feedback From Website User

 COMMENTS = Does your orgnization admit that women can sexually assault men?

"pn6" to Pat

show details 12/10/07

Reply:

Where is that mentioned on your website?

Can men stop that?

Pat McGann to me

show details 12/10/07

Reply

It's something we discuss in workshops and trainings.

"pn6" to Pat

show details 12/10/07

Reply

Before or after workshop attendees ask the instructor about it?

Can men stop it when women are intent on raping them?

Pat McGann to me

show details 12/10/07

Reply

Can you provide me with more information? I feel like I'm being quizzed for reasons I'm not aware of.

Reply

Forward

"pn6"
to Pat

show details 12/10/07

Reply

Though women are more often the victims, they can and do victimize men. Unfortunately, however, many organizations funded by federal tax dollars recognize only men as aggressors and only women as victims, or do so until questioned.

Yet when females commit sexual crimes, their victims are much less likely to be believed. http://www.canadiancrc.com/female_sexual_predators_awareness.aspx

http://www.fathermag.com/news/rape/50-men.shtml

Approximately 1 in 6 boys is abused before the age of 16. http://www.jimhopper.com/male-ab/

There are some other statistics here: http://boysite.info/blog/2007/09/26/can-a-boy-be-sexually-abused-by-a-girl-reallypart-1/

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence/html/nfntsxinvisible_e.html

A survey of 127 survivors by the children's charity Kidscape showed 86% were not believed at first when they named a woman as their abuser. http://www.menweb.org/panosumm.htm

Pat McGann to me

show details 12/10/07

Reply

I'm aware of the stats and issues below. I was wondering more what your agenda is.

Reply

Forward

"pn6"
to Pat

show details 12/10/07

Reply

I'm trying to ascertain why it's not mentioned on your front page.

Pat McGann to me

show details 12/10/07

Reply

And I'm trying to understand why that's important to you.

In other words, she asks "Why do you care?"

"pn6"
to Pat

show details 12/10/07

Reply

Every single one of the but one of the banners, posters, and post cards your outreach packets holds out men as the aggressor. In the one image that holds a male as a possible victim, the couple featured has two males. On those posters, mencanstoprape.org deliberately neglect the possibility that men can be victimized by women.

Further, The very name of your org smacks of sexism and omits the fact that there are some rapes that men can not stop.

One of the images states "So when men disrespect women, we say that's NOT RIGHT." There is no counterpart? Is it okay for women to disrespect men? http://www.mencanstoprape.org/usr_doc/outreach_packet.pdf

"pn6"
to Pat

show details 12/10/07

And as a 501(c)3 organization, you use my taxes to spread your sexist message.

Pat McGann to me

show details 12/10/07

Reply

Hi "pn6",

I can point you to organizations that do help male survivors, if that would be helpful. It's outside our mission, but we do think it's important.

Best, Pat

"pn6"
to Pat

Pat,

That's beside the point.

http://www.mencanstoprape.org (MCSR) is using tax dollars to spread fear and distrust of men, or of men who have not accepted the MCSR message.

MCSR teaches men to loathe themselves and hold themselves exclusively responsible for coercive sexual experiences; though you know that women can sometimes be rapists of men, you do not mention it on your home page. It is dishonest, and it lends itself to the stereotypical notions that (1) only women can be victims of sexual violence, and (2) Only men can be aggressors of sexual violence.

MCSR is one of the many organizations that browbeat men into thinking that they alone are aggressors, that they alone are guilty of violence against women, and that their status as victims is unworthy of mentioning.

Pat McGann to me

Dear "pn6",

I can see there's not going to be a constructive exchange here. It seems like you're not interested in learning how we do engage men in positive ways that's not at all about loathing ourselves, and I can't justify expending more time and energy on this when I have other work to do and all I can expect from you is hostility.

So, I wish you well and hope you have a happy holiday season.

Best,

"pn6"
to Pat

Hostility is what you're putting out. The message that your posters express is that men can only be the guilty party.

Title	Men Can Stop Rape - Mobilizing male youth to prevent men’s violence against women
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	2
Date	November 11, 2008 7:31 PM UTC (17 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7cqly/men_can_stop_rape_mobilizing_male_youth_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-can-stop-rape-mobilizing-male-youth-to-prevent.1056178 https://theredarchive.com/post/1056178

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