Alright ladies, I need some advice/general support here. I just had a zoom call with my girlfriends last night. It was nice to have a little virtual social time since covid is ramping back up where I live. It's now Saturday morning and I can't shake this feeling that my friend dynamic is going to seriously shift in the near future because it already has started too.

I'm 28 and live in a small (ish) town, so it's not uncommon for people my age to be married and be on baby number 2. I've never had the desire to get married to any of my ex's and have never felt like I am destined to be a mother. My friends (who I've been friends with for 8-9 years) have started to speak more and more about these things. Two of them are engaged and are planning their weddings, one just announced that she is pregnant, one just built a house with her boyfriend and another is talking about eloping and having kids within the next year/year and a half. They have all been in long term relationships (10-4 years long) and all have been living with their partners for years.

As you can see, there are some FDS red flags. The friend who is pregnant is a major pick me, and at first I was a little worried for her (not married, lives in the house that her boyfriend owns) but she is excited about the pregnancy and I've decided it's not my business to question if it's the right decision for her. It's her life.

Their partners are generally good people. From what I know about them I wouldn't classify any of them as LVM/NVM, however I wouldn't go as far to say that they're HVM except for maybe one of them (I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, I only know what my friends have told me and have witnessed their dynamics in person before the pandemic. HVM are extremely rare and I don't take calling a man HVM lightly). They all have good paying jobs and work hard, and cook and clean. My friends all seem happy with them, so I am happy for my friends and obviously want the best for them. However, last nights zoom call made me question how ideal it would be for me to continue to keep them as my primary social group.

Obviously I am in FDS for a reason. I am a recovering pick me. Although I never wanted to marry any guy that I've been with, I still had unhealthy attachments and patterns with them. I broke off a 2.5 year relationship in February 2020 because I finally accepted that he didn't respect me and honestly I was sick of living with him and not having my own quiet space. I am doing my best to focus on myself right now. I live on my own in a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment and am focusing on my hobbies. I have a secure, well paying job but am working towards making a career change to a field that I am more passionate about. I've started a diet and exercise program that I'm already seeing results from. I haven't dated in three months, nor am I even interested in dating for the time being.

It hit me last night that I don't know how much baby/wedding/house reno/engagement talk I can stand right now. Of course these things are the things that are happening in my friends lives so I expect them to talk about them, but I can't help but feel like the odd one out when I have literally nothing to contribute to any of these topics other than being supportive for my friends. These topics are extremely one sided. Of course my friends ask about me and how I'm doing, but it's different than all of them being able to relate to one another in regards to their relationships and current life situations.

It's not hard to get a boyfriend. It's hard to find a HVM and I won't settle or lower my standards just so that I can feel "on track" with where my friends relationships are. I know this is the right move, but I would be lying if I said that this decision feels nice when my friends are discussing gender reveals and the flooring that they and their partner decided on for the kitchen.

Is anyone else in a similar situation? How are you handling it? What kind of things are you doing to focus on yourself? I really want to work towards being the best version of myself this year. I honestly don't mind the lockdowns because it's easy to save $ and focus on leveling up, but with covid running rampant it's not the best time to go out and meet new friends. Any advice or support would be so appreciated! 💛