Well, if you're looking for motivation to change your thought process about women and over investing in LTRs, look no further. A certain girl effectively turned my life upside down at the beginning of the month. See my earlier posts for the background story:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4ii5cy/beta_looks_for_clarity_after_being_cheated_on/

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4jdqam/regret_and_frustration_after_swallowing_standard/

I reached out for help here but the oneitis and failure to develop an abundance mentality resulted in me contacting her multiple times in a position of weakness after I dumped her. I actually go to places we used to hang out at hoping to see her show up. I've sent her hateful texts late at night, like a toddler crying for attention. It got to the point where I blocked her number because I was continuing to unfairly harass her while embarrassing and shaming myself.

Needless to say this has spilled over into my professional life and my bosses are not pleased with my performance lately. The drinking has picked up a bit as well which doesn't help. Seems like in almost every facet of my life I act like a hurt Beta bitch. I command zero respect at my job and my personal life consists of the gym and the occasional night at the bar.

I am no longer satisfied or happy at work but I am contractually obligated for another year. No 2 week notice. I would be much happier heading to a new city, taking a little time off, and reevaluating my priorities. How the hell can I turn this around? I'm not looking for sympathy or for people to tell me I'm a worthless, whiny, loser (I get enough of that at work). And maybe this is the wrong forum but I feel like a month or two ago I had the world at my fingertips. Now, I can barely control my own emotions. I've been lifting, trying to change my mindset, doing a little reading, journaling, etc but clearly nothing is working. Maybe some people are just cut out to be bottom feeders...