Let's talk about frame.

Frame is a concept that's often brought up on this subreddit but poorly understood. It's elusive, fleeting, and very, VERY easy to fall out of or forget.

And that's because frame—as its name implies—is a frame of mind. A perspective on life and the world that effectively translate to one simple message:

DO YOU.

As simple as that statement is, it can be poorly implemented or confused for arrogance, selfishness, or stubbornness.

In my opinion, that's a misapplication of what frame is. Instead, frame is simply operating in a manner that puts your needs ahead of those around you, UNLESS (and this is key) you willing CHOOSE to put another's need ahead of your own.

If you choose to open a door for someone because you feel like it...you're in your frame.

If you choose to lower your volume of music to respect the space around you...you're in your frame.

Why?

Because it's a choice YOU chose based on your own values and morals. You're not stepping out of what you believe in order to accommodate others. You're acting in line with what you believe to be right and wrong.

Now, let me give a example in relation to women.

I was at a bar a few months back with some friends. I'm in an LTR so even when I'm at bars I'm not paying these women much attention. Obviously, that sense of indifference can end up creating more interest. So, it's almost closing time and I'm sitting on the couch ready for my friends to be ready to leave. As I'm sitting there, this girl (let's call her an HB7.5) comes up to me. She's drunk, but she isn't sloppy. My read was that she wanted to fuck someone that night. She walks over to where I'm sitting and tries to grab my hand to get up and dance with her.

Here's where frame comes in.

If I wanted to fall into her frame, I would've gotten up right there and danced with her.

However, that's not what I wanted to do. Instead, without saying a word. I smiled and tilted my head for her to come over and sit down. That was it. That was the offer on the table and if she wanted to interact with me, she'd have to play by my rules.

As she started to walk over, her friend ended up coming and grabbing her away but you get my point.

So...how do you develop your frame with women?

Well, you could practice with an LTR or plate by simply doing what you want to do and letting them submit/fall into to your direction. However, I've got a more fun way to help you build your inner core (particularly with women).

Go to a strip club.

I'm serious.

Of course, lifting, reading, pursuing a purpose, etc. are all good at giving you a solid sense of self/resolve, but having just gotten back from a Cancun strip club for my buddy's bachelor party, I can tell you that strippers are the gold standard of female manipulation and the bane of weak men.

Strippers by their nature, are saleswomen of sexual desire. They'll dance on you, rub your dick, whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and make you feel like they've fallen in love with you...and meanwhile, they're trying their best to drain your pockets dry.

Your job is to walk into a strip club and throw more no's than dollars.

You should be able to watch a stripper sliding down a pole, look in her the eyes as she does it, then shrug your shoulders and walk away. If a woman grabs you by your shoulders and asks you if you want a dance, you should be able to smile confidently (maybe even cop a feel) and say "maybe later sweetheart."

Then walk away.

It's good practice to be able to look at beautiful women (particularly ones offering sexual favors) and have the strength to turn them down.

This is a small aspect of frame as it pertains to women but it's good to maintain control over yourself particularly in scenarios designed to override common sense.

Godspeed gentlemen.