In response to u/w0manfest's post about 'being an asshole' or as I called it teasing, I posted this article with examples of what I would consider teasing, but called negging. I view these as two sides of the same coin, a fine line, and the difference is intention. One example given is about calling a guy 'intern' and if your first impression was that he really isn't secure in his career yada yada then you wouldn't use that. If a HVM is dressed in a tailored suit looking like a snack and he knows and you know that he's got it going on then its light hearted because he already knows, and its seen as flirting. It's about intention: you are attracted to this man and giving him a compliment at the same time.

Personal example: When I first met my bf it was through a mutual friend, we were all going to a bday party together and waiting for him to arrive at her place after he had taken forever to find parking and was late etc. As soon as he walked in the very first thing I said to him was "nice fuckboy haircut". It was saying to him that I noticed it, but also teasing and being a bit of a challenge. It wasn't insulting pointing out an insecurity because my intention was to flirt and that I liked it. If on the other hand I wanted to be insulting and neg him which people CAN AND DO use as a manipulation tactic, you point out something that most likely that person is actually insecure about. I would have said something about his clothes being too big for him when he's a little overweight. I don't want to do that because it would be hurtful, but if someone is that desperate for attention/validation it might work *if that is the kind of person you are looking for*. Its weeding the people out that don't respond well to it, kind of like how those Nigerian scammers send outrageous emails, because only the people who reply are desperate enough to do so (PickMeisha).

Body language, eye contact, context, etc all play a part its not just what you say its how you say it and why.

Another example my bf told me recently: a girl bartender at a place he frequents has been flirting inappropriately for a while with him, he rejected her advances. She told him he was moving away to LA and try to become model and basically implying that this was his last chance to sleep with her. His response "hand model?" That is 'negging.' He could still sleep with her if he wanted, but he obviously doesn't view her as gf potential even probably even more so now because she's a really desperate pick me it's sad. Don't be that girl. We've had to stop going to that bar for the most part because she's just rude to me now as she hates that he doesn't want to get with her (not that if we broke up and he wanted an easy lay he wouldn't go for it because it's there and its easy, but doesn't respect her).

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them." Now depending on the situation I'm in and my personal safety if someone is harassing me I will use the ultimate neg of public shaming. This is not to be used lightly as if directed at the wrong person they can become violent, use your best judgement. If I'm in public around others I will shame them publicly, usually by repeating what they just said even louder so that everyone turns around and sees/hears. This is on purpose so not only is it shaming the harasser but now all eyes are on you and its safer in numbers. Again this is risky is not advised in many situations its best to ignore it but you know what I'm fucking angry and sick of these disgusting perverts and it's about time someone said something.