(first time posting and sorry in advance for the length)

My situation today is pretty pathetic but I have nowhere else to turn. At the start of the year I began swallowing the red pill and letting it show on my life. There have been ups and downs as I struggle with chronic depression, but overall life has been good. Tonight though I had what I view as a bad experience with a woman. She and I had dated years and years ago and never parted on terrible terms. We've been chatting on and off ever since we broke up. We get along very well and share many common interests, and in the past she's expressed an interest of getting back with me.

So we've been hanging out the past few days after she broke up with a fairly emotionally/mentally abusive boyfriend and we've gotten to know each other better than we have in the past. She's made some pretty sexual comments my way but has rejected any attempts at anything more, saying she needs time and is not interested in anyone right now.

Given the circumstances I'd believe but in this case I have a sinking feeling I'm being used and friendzoned by her. I'm admittedly an average in terms of SMV though she's the same. I don't act with any blatantly beta tendencies as far as I know. I'm confident and in control (or was up until today). However it's her comments and mannerisms that make me feel like she's leading me on.

I fucked up and tried to ask her about this tonight, despite us having a great time up until that. She told me she's not interested in anyone, not just me, given the recent nature of her breakup and that her sexual comments are something she just generally makes around close friends, though she says she feels most comfortable around me. I tried my best to keep a straight face the rest of the night, and I did, and we continued having a good time, but once she was gone and I was alone, I will admit shamelessly that I broke down into an angry, melancholy and sobbing mess. Even before her I've felt like people betray me and turn their backs on me when I don't think I've done anything to deserve it. I don't know what I do wrong.

It was probably an overreaction on my part, I'll admit, and I don't want this to seem like all the troll posts flooding /asktrp/ recently. Yes, I get that women can need time after breakups, and I don't know why I feel like she's leading me on and trying to manipulate me. We've been friendly to each other for so, so long, but I can't stop thinking it's happening.

She's not easy to Next either. There are other women I could be with but this one has all my "feelz." I don't want another girl or a Plate to fuck. It isn't lack of options, it's lack of wanting to move on. She's told me that once in the past when I stopped talking to her during a bout of depression, wanting to be on my own, she cried her eyes out thinking I'd left her "again", and she says she considers me one of her closest friends. She told me that if she could get with anyone at all assuming her abusive breakup hadn't happened and she'd never met the guy, she'd get with me, but I can't tell if she's genuine or just trying to mindfuck me.

I can't stand thinking I'll make her miserable. She's already got it tough enough and is about as mentally fucked as I am, and has been just as if not more-so miserable and depressed throughout her life, though I'm trying to help her. I'm not oversensitive or so I think, but I'm also not an asshole. I genuinely care about this girl. She claims to equally care about me. But that's where the heavy confusion on my part comes in. Am I really valuable to her and does she truly care about me, or am I just an emotional tampon she feels like she can pull around?

I don't know whether to give it a chance and try to be JUST friends with her or aquaintances or whatever you want to call it, or just move on and forget about her for good. She makes me laugh, smile, and have a great time, vice versa. I don't know if there's malevolent intent on her part or not. This mounted on top of so many other things bothering me in my life has ripped me apart.

My confidence and pride have fallen apart. It's beta as fuck. It's oneitis. I admitted weakness to her too much. I became too vulnerable. I know all this. I just don't know what to do about it. I don't know if my own hamster is overthinking everything and if I should just be optimistic and not think the situation or bad, but I also don't know if I'm sitting in a burning building and saying "This is fine." I truly do not know and am all out of places to turn to and people to talk to.

tl;dr Do I ignore this girl and cease contact with her for good?