I make jokes and hang out with people, but (I'm a production assistant working in the film industry) when I find myself just idling around with friends doing nothing I tend to leave to do my own thing (watch video essays/watch movies).

I don't like smoking weed too often. I hang it with guys and banter with them, but after a while I get tired of making smart ass remarks to their smart ass remarks and just stop responding or give short responses. If someone comes at me, I assume it's from a place of jealousy. I'm usually quiet, but occasionally the little brother in me comes out when I'm trolling (especially women). I don't like going out of my way to "beg for friendship" - if I'm not invited to something I just leave.

In short, I'm somewhere in the middle of what's ideal and what's very much not. Do I fake it or own it?