Dealing with overwhelmingness

TheRedStoic · 2016-07-13T19:01:44+00:00

A repost. Read it.

SUMMARY

The red pill is a great translator of what works and why. However, even comprehension of the topic itself is not enough to initiate change. In the next step, transforming ones self from current to ideal, habits must be broken and reformed. A key to managing habits is understanding triggers... (No not feminist triggers, actual real triggers, performed by dedicated and reinforced neural pathways of least resistance through usage)

WHAT ARE THEY?

Triggers are the precursors to actions. You could say they're the self or other conditioned causes to bring about effects. A trigger for a smoker may be having morning coffee, having a meal, having a bout of stress or a drink, all of which are triggered by nicotine cravings. For a blue male, triggers may be even seeing or thinking of a hot chick. Or even any chick. Understanding the ways you trigger yourself into blue and/or undesired behavior is an important first step towards curbing a habit.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THEM

The first step to recognizing a trigger is to be mindful. Pay attention to what sets off blue tendencies in yourself. Do you procrastinate? Why? Is it because you're surrounded with electronics? Is it because you're afraid of success? Are you downright lazy or low on energy? Once you isolate the trigger, you know what must be changed to avoid that blue effect resurfacing. I recommend keeping a journal each night, logging the things you didn't do. Analyze them. Take Beta Billy for example. He started using his journal every night once he finished the sidebar.

example 1 Beta Billy never gets to the gym, he owns the membership, sets his alarm, but hits snooze a dozen times before getting up, copping out, and going about his day. One day Billy leaves his phone in the other room, and can't hit snooze. By the time he's walked through the house and found it he's awake, he makes it to the gym. Beta Billy found his trigger, ease of access to his wakeup method. From now on he leaves his phone in the other room.

example 2 Beta Billy has been successfully lifting for 6 months now, he's starting to show some bulk, and is getting iois a few times a week. He can never hold eye contact and if he approaches, he ends up stammering like an idiot. He spends his evenings replaying and rewriting his approaches, practicing. On the way home from a guys night out, an hb7 is giving him the eye on the subway, he, pretty drunk, says what's up and introduces himself. He wakes up with her the next morning. Beta Billy has now learned not to overthink, no longer does he script his introductions, he just goes with it. Beta Billy is now purple Billy.

HOW TO CREATE THEM

Creating triggers is just as important as removing them. The key to this is to make new desirable habits easy on yourself. If you're going to the gym for the first time, have the clothes set out, have the alarm out of reach, have your protein mixed, have your keys and shoes ready. Have do not disturb programmed into your phone for your session. Remove distraction and excuses to make it as easy as possible to follow through.

example 3 Purple Billy has been in the gym for a year now, he responds to iois but still has trouble approaching. He just can't work up the courage to day game. He decides to join a local Frisbee meet up to work on social adroitness. He gets clammy the first time he goes. Then the second. By the third still almost no one knows his name. Then one day he brings an extra water, a sweet hb6 is thirsty, having left hers at home, without thinking he offers it and they begin to chat. Purple Billy has just found a way to add value to others. From then on he volunteers inconsequential things to anyone who needs it. A month later everyone knows his name and hb6 is biting his pillow after half the meets. Billy made introductions easy on himself.

SPONTANEOUS RELAPSE

You can and should blame yourself for spontaneous relapse. It happens to everyone, sometimes the chips fall in such a way that your plans go out the window and an opportunity is wasted. What you need to focus on is long term improvement and consistency. Beating yourself up is different from taking responsibility for your actions. If you allow one failure to break your attempt entirely, that's another trigger you need to work on. A dire one indeed. The way to deal with it is to make continuing your path accountable.

example Purple Billy now goes by his middle name, Chad, while he's out clubbing with the newfound friends he has from Frisbee (and his new rock climbing group). He approaches, adds value to conversations, and usually comes home with a 6 or 7. One night he approaches a 9 and gets torn a new ass hole when she laughs in his face. He hadn't been burned like that in years. He gets drunk, his game is killed, and goes home in low spirits.

The next time he goes out he's afraid to even talk to a girl, reverting to a now greek statuesque wallflower. He exudes weakness in spite of his physique. Until a bro comes up and reminds him, bill, Er, Chad, you promised to wing man for me if Jenna was here tonight. You promised bro. by the end of the night, Chad has a great time even though Jennas friend wasn't interested. He just learned accountability. Tie others to your goals so there is social backlash to failure.

Fast forward another year and purple Billy is now Chad Jr. largely because he isolated triggers.

ASSIGNMENT

Isolate some poor decisions you make over the next week, rebuild or remove their triggers from your life, or introduce ones to help compensate. Remember to read your redstoic pdf when you have trouble, but don't use it as a bible, you'll just trigger yourself into being a dogmatic chump. As always, use what works for you and throw the rest out.

LESSONS LEARNED

know your triggers

keep a journal

make triggers to help make things easier for you

a relapse is momentary, add some socially painful accountability

use what works, toss what doesn't

BionicHawki · 2016-07-12T23:19:18+00:00

Take it one day at a time.

That whole month to make a habit thing is the real deal. Depending on where you are on you're journey how fast you're gonna pickup new things is different.

If you're super beginner I'd say try and workout 5-6 days in a week. Then the next week maybe start reading 40-50 pages of a book a day and take weekends off from reading. And so on and so forth. Without any specifics I don't know what you are expecting.

Changing everything at one is fucking tiring as hell and leads to binges of bad behavior when you're finally worn out (drinking, eating like shit, skipping workouts etc).

[deleted] · 2016-07-13T01:33:43+00:00

"How to Concentrate like Einstein" taught me a neat technique for when you're feeling overwhelmed.

Also, identify WHY you don't get anything done. It's probably pretty obvious. Are you fucking around on the internet instead of doing what you really want to do? Who's really controlling your behaviors? The part of you that wants to improve, or the part of you that wants to feel good and be comfortable NOW?

Title	Dealing with overwhelmingness
Author	Mpcfiend
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	July 12, 2016 11:02 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4sjxau/dealing_with_overwhelmingness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dealing-with-overwhelmingness.108265 https://theredarchive.com/post/108265

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