So today I realised something: whenever I am to pull AAC du to a boundary/expectation violation/not satisfaction, I am engaging in a covert contract. Why? Not because I am butthurt or passive aggressive, but I don't do it solely for myself. The mindset behind isn't plain and simply "I don't give my attention to someone who does or doesn't do X, so I will do my thing instead of this, because it is what I want and what is best for me." Yes, it has this idea as well, but it is poisoned by the idea of "and if I do this then she will give me what I want". And you know what is interesting? I only fucking realized it today. Ego-traps really do blind us. So, with this in mind my plan is to continue implementing a conscious effort of Rational Egoism until it really has become second nature (which it almost is, but some rests of the old mental models still need to be shed). I will keep going with the conscious application of other mental models that I find useful in order to really integrate them and circle back through those OODA loops. And that is it, keep pulling through, getting the tools I find useful and throwing away the others inn the midst of all the videos, books, actions, thoughts and reflections and try to be as Ego-less as I possibly can, especially in moments of reflection (this is also something I consciously do through discipline and habit).

Any comment is appreciated.

PS. if you use the app Habitica DM me. it would be cool to have us in a Party there swapping notes