Summary: I've never had sex and I'm totally complacent in this position. I feel like I'll never get the most out of my sexual potential if I don't have that annoyance at not getting laid, that thirst, to push me out of my comfort zone.

I am a college student, rising sophomore, and I'm a virgin. I've greatly improved my physique and appearance since arriving at college (in high school I did nothing but play video games and go to school, so I came out with no girl experience). I'm noticing that my friends who have the most sex play a numbers game. They talk to lots of girls, they dance with lots of girls, hook up with lots of girls, and sometimes it pays off. I'm not awkward with girls, I'm not scared of girls (although I am not fully over approach anxiety), but I often find that I just can't be bothered to play the numbers game. Like, I don't give enough of a shit. My friends get agitated when they go for a while without sex. I'll hear things like "Man, I need to get laid." I've gone 19 years without getting laid and the only sense of desire I have to get laid stems from the self esteem impact of being a virgin and the knowledge that I'm missing out on something fun. I can make out with girls at parties when the opportunity thrusts itself at me, but I don't randomly get that lucky often enough to expect to eventually get laid like that. I need to get out there and play the numbers game, but I'm too content to not bother. I feel I'm missing that primal urge to fuck, and it's holding me back.

I've been thinking about why I'm like this. Here's what I've got:

-Porn: I think jerking off interferes with the hormones that create that burning desire for sex. It's not that I'll look at a room full of girls and think "Should I talk to them? Nah, there's no point in girls because I can just masturbate." It's that I'll look at a room full of girls and be perfectly happy with where I am and who I'm already talking to. I feel like as a college age adult my brain should be coursing with chemicals prodding me to get myself laid. So I guess I'm gonna quit porn, only reason why I hadn't already was a good edge sesh helps me fall asleep at night. But does anyone know the science here?

-Not having experienced sex: I don't know how good it is, so maybe that's contributing? Like once I've experienced it, maybe I'll be itching to do it again going forward. Do I just have to break the seal and then I'll be as obsessed with it as my friends from then on?

-I'm sure approach anxiety is contributing a bit, it's on me to keep working on getting over it. Again, the issue is not that I find myself wanting to talk to lots of girls but I'm always too scared. I don't even begin to entertain the idea of talking to them because I just don't care. Approach anxiety's role here is it inhibits the logic of "well if you don't care either way, might as well go talk to them." Playing the numbers game is just unpleasant enough an idea that it loses out to complacency. Playing the numbers game and dealing with approach anxiety should be the shittier (e:) better alternative to not even trying, but to me it's not.

-Could I be experiencing a testosterone shortage of some sort? I don't know much about how testosterone levels work. I don't seem to be a naturally low T guy. I've got a lot of body hair and a deep voice. I don't know what other things to look for. Is it possible to have a fluctuating testosterone level? Like maybe I had enough as I developed but a shift in brain chemistry left me lacking or something? Does masturbating have to do with it?

edit: to be clear, I'm not unmotivated or lethargic in general. I work hard and get good grades, I go to a good school, I'm very active in my social circle, I am very motivated to go to the gym, etc.