I just read the following text on TwoX's and I was wondering what you thought the male equivalent of this is? What does a hard day in the life of a man look like?
No judgement here. Just want to know your pain.
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“Need a taxi ride?” Asks the man who just pulled up beside my friend and I. “No thanks,” we say in unison. Avoiding eye contact, walking in the opposite direction. He’s not driving a taxi. He lingers for a moment, rolls up his window, and drives away. A sigh of relief, a giggle. “Creep,” we laugh. “Maybe he means well,” we hope. But this happens every time we go out, we know they don’t all mean well.
On the drive home we discuss the pros and cons of buying a gun.
This morning I was woken up by the worst cramping I’ve ever felt. Nothing I could do would take the edge off. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t hold still. I tried yoga and bathing and pain killers and prayer and puking and shitting and crying. After hours of agony I finally was able to fall back asleep. I’m lucky today, I don’t have to work, I don’t have any kids to take care of.
Not that I don’t want kids. “I want to be a mom more than anything in the world,” I say, frowning at my empty bank account. I don’t want to be like my mom, I don’t want to be anything like my mom, but I want to be a mom. The way things are going I’ll have to do it alone. Every man I’ve ever met has damaged me. Even my own family, especially my own family. I’ve been beaten, assaulted, tricked, violated.
It’s been a few months since he left. I changed the locks, sleep with my keys in hand and my shoes next to my bed in case I need to run. I don’t think he would ever hurt me except for that one time he bruised my arms. He was never violent except for all the times he said he fantasized about killing me, skinning me alive. I tell myself that my security camera will keep me safe, my dog will keep me safe, I will keep myself safe.
Today I am tired and in pain. It hurts to be in this body. Still, I think that I would choose it again if given the chance. The pain and fear and heartache have made me strong. My life is full, not just with grief and trauma but with love and empathy. I love being a woman, but today it is hard.
[–]Kindly-Town 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MyFatThumb 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UnconventionalXY 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Arcanisia 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link