I've been neglected, talked down to, destroyed mentally and emotionally. My mother was a whore that just liked to fuck around and party and never wanted children. She never said that out loud of course but in the way she raised me it was obvious. I've suffered since I was born and almost been killed more than a few occasions because of her neglect and abuse of me. My life was hell and the only thought that kept me going was one day, one day I'll meet someone who loves me for me. One day I'll meet someone who cares about me and likes to be with me and will hold me and love and all this suffering will be worth it. Heart break after heart break I managed to finally meet someone. I've been with her a couple years now. I can't remember the last time she touched me. I asked her for a hug and a kiss last night. I can't even get that any more. And it destroys me inside. I can't remember the last time she voluntarily touched me. On her own accord. She won't admit it but i feel like she hates me. Like she's disguted by me. We're in separate bedrooms now too. I just want attention. But I was born a man. If I don't provide, if I don't do chores if I don't do everything perfectly right to make sure she's happy and satisfied I get nothing and even then it's just a chance. I don't know what to do anymore. Love is all that ever mattered to me but as a man I don't think I can find the kind of love I want and need anymore. I just feel broken inside these days. I go to work I do the chores on my list and whatever else I'm asked besides that I just watch TV and sleep. Because I really don't see any point in anything else. Anything fun i see and want to do I think oh that'll be fun to share that with her but then I remember oh that's never going to happen. I just feel like I've lost my will to love sometimes.