Crosspost "AITA For telling my husband to butt out of things he will never understand" from /r/AmItheAsshole:

My husband (39M) and I (36F) have 3 kids, a 14-year old daughter and twin 10-year old boys. Ever since her first period, I have allowed my daughter to stay home from school if she is having bad period pain or is in a lot of discomfort. To me it is just common sense and it's only middle school, so missing one day a month isn't a huge deal. She doesn't stay home sick outside of those days anyway so it's easy for her to catch up. She usually just lays on the couch with a heating pad and watches movies. It's not like she's bothering anyone.

The last time I let her stay home, my husband confronted me about it and said that he's not sure that letting her stay home every single time she asks is the best way to go about this. He said that sooner or later there might be something that she can't miss and she's going to have to go out into the world while dealing with this. I told him that I value his opinion, but that with all due respect, until he starts dealing with this sort of thing personally, I am going to ask that he butts out of this one and lets me handle it.

He tends to be dramatic so he threw his hands up and said "Fine, but you know you would be pissed as hell if I told you the same thing about something the boys are going through." I asked him what that was supposed to mean and he said that when the boys hit puberty and things start to change for them too, I would be pissed at him if he told me "Well, since you've never personally had an erection, you just need to mind your own business and let the guys figure this out."

I told him that isn't nearly the same thing as what our daughter is going through and he knows it. He said this isn't about the differences between boys and girls when it comes to puberty, it's about my unwillingness to let him have a say in something that we as parents should be deciding on together, not just me unilaterally making decisions about our daughter because we have the same genitalia.

I told him that he has no personal reference for the type of pain and discomfort our daughter is having, but I do. So unless he wants to try and convince her to go to school when she doesn't feel like it, my decision stands. He said that's part of the problem, that I am just allowing her to stay home every time she asks, and that he feels like I am putting myself in a position to be the sole decision maker on this sort of things instead of making decisions together. I told him he is being ridiculous and that it's just one day a month, it's not a big deal and that he needs to drop it.

He did drop it, but first he said that I'm lying to myself if I think I wouldn't be pissed if he was dismissing me the way I am to him. I told him I'm not dismissing him, I just happen to have years and years of firsthand experience with this sort of thing, and he doesn't.

Posted by periodpieceaita | 25 April 2022 | Link