The related issues of sexual frustration, the burden of initiation, sexual gatekeeping, etc are a common source of pain among men and are frequently brought up in the male advocate space. I personally feel strongly about this issue because it has caused me profound suffering. These experiences are not uncommon among men, but seeking resources that don't forcefully and callously invalidate these experiences is difficult. I believe the invalidating of these experiences feeds back on and intensifies the suffering. Having people that love and care for you in every aspect of your life (or men's groups, professionally accredited therapists) tell you that you're suffering is a product of your imagination, contributes to a mistrust of the people around you and our institutions charged with promoting our well-being.

Admittedly, I'm a bit unsure of how to engage with this issue in a way that is productive and I'm still exploring what it is I can do here, but, in an attempt to help more men avoid the pain I, and other men, have experienced I would like to begin by collecting resources that help men hear from other men that have observed, felt, thought, spoken about, and developed insights around these issues. I'm also kind of dipping my toe in here to maybe get a bette sense of the response something like this would get and whether or not it's worth investing my time. Honestly the more time I spend thinking about this issue the more unhappy I become, so this does come at a personal emotional cost to me.

I'd prefer resources that retain a certain amount of emotional temperedness and intellectualism, but if they consist of a high enough caliber of thoughtfulness, I'm not sure they need to be proper academic papers.

Chapter 13 "The Politics of Sex" in Warren Farrell's The Myth Of Male Power highlights some of these issues.

I haven't cracked open my wallet yet, but if I can continue to marshal my focus on this project this also looks like a promising resource: https://brill.com/view/book/9789401200684/B9789401200684-s007.xml?language=en

In the above link Rosenfeld cites writing from an author (Pepple, 1994) but I haven't been able to locate the source in case anybody can point me in the right direction.

I know I've heard Farrell speak on this topic elsewhere but I haven't been able to find it. Anymore Farrell resources that cover this topic and specifically regarding indirect vs direct initiatives would be helpful.

Keywords I've used when searching include - risky initiations, indirect initiatives