I start this thread here, because I am looking for some no-nonsense advice to change this weak behavior of mine. Apparently there is still this scared-little-boy part in me that seeks comfort and confirmation from his mother. I have wanted to change this for many years, but it's pretty tough. However, I feel it's time to change this now. I haven't called home for almost a week now, and I plan to keep this until she wonders what is going on, and calls me. I will tell her that everything is fine, but I won't share any worries, plans, or anything too emotional. I will ask how everything's going over there and keep it brief - the whole conversation should be over in just a few minutes. I will keep doing this for the foreseeable time.

It feels harsh to do this, but I think this behavior is unhealthy and it should stop. In the long term, it's better for me, as well as her. I don't know if this approach is the best (perhaps I should tell her eventually that/why I am not calling her), and I don't know how to move on after this, but it's obvious to me that some distance is an important first step.

My question: do you recognize this? if you have (had) a similar dynamic with your mother, how do you cope with it, and how do you change it? does my approach make sense? any advice?

like I said, I am looking for no-nonsense advice. no need to hold back, I can take it.