My fiancé and I are 26 and have been together for 5 years. In the beginning of the relationship I supported him financially, and now he makes $250k so I don’t work. I only made $30k and it’s just not worth it for him if I worked full time and split the house chores with him.

We are getting married in 6 weeks and plan to have kids asap. I worked as a nanny for 9 years so it was important to me to have a break before I raised my own kids, and also the division of labor and finances that I already explained.

A few days ago he told me the house looked great (specifically the living room, kitchen, dining room, and bathroom). I have offered for a few days if he wanted me to finish painting his new office and he kept saying no so I stopped asking. Full disclosure, his old office is a disaster and we have been waiting for our foster kittens (that currently occupy that room) to get adopted before we/he cleans it. Previously he agreed to spend 30 minutes per day in that room since it’s filled with his stuff and I don’t know what he wants or doesn’t want to keep.

Also, the master bedroom is untidy but nothing crazy, and my office/the guest room is pretty messy. However, we are moving the guest bed into his old office once that’s cleaned out so I haven’t wanted to bother cleaning the current guest room/my office since it’s going to be fully rearranged and deep cleaned in the future.

As a reminder, a few days ago he told me the dining room, kitchen, bathroom, and living room look great. Today he was really picking on me for things being messy. When I told him he said things were great a few days ago and he was being unfair, he said “yeah, im just trying to be supportive when there’s 2% improvement.” He also told me to mop since I haven’t in months, and I reminded him that I mopped last weekend when his sister came to visit.

He went on to tell me how I don’t even do an hour of work every day, which I told him isn’t true, and even so I told him I DO work less than him, but since I’ll take on most of the childcare in the future (which is more than 40 hours per week) then it seems fair for me to have it easier right now. He said “I don’t even believe you, you were always exhausted when you were a nanny and said how much you hated it” which, of course I complained sometimes, but my purse is a canvas bag with a picture of the 3 kids. I absolutely love that family and loved my job. He went on to say “but you had to keep the job since that’s the only job you could get” which hurt my feelings.

He also at some point mentioned “since you can’t understand things” which again, hurt my feelings and made me feel stupid.

I have an associates degree and I’m not dumb. I’m just not as educated as him and could never get a job that pays that much.

Since the house could still use a lot of work before it’s deemed “perfect,” is his anger justified? This is supposed to be my job, and the house isn’t perfect. As stated, there are 3 rooms that need work. They’re just being blocked by 1. Our foster kittens getting adopted 2. Him refusing to clean up that room before we had these foster kittens and 3. Him repeatedly telling me to paint his new office room another day, so it’s not finished either.

Thoughts?