No escalation first date.. now what.

tbfresh · 2017-09-10T11:42:00+00:00

I drove her home gave her a hug and left. Did I fuck up by not going for a kiss - or should I not worry since we have plans anyway.

Very possible. Going for a kiss shows that you're confident and you don't care if she was ready for it. A hug is either that you aren't into her, or you're "worried that she's not into you". Either way, not the impression you want to give.

She made a comment that suck with me " your not what I expected - i thought you were going to be more of a city guy (player) but I like that your actually a good guy"

Red flag. Look up "nice guy" on the main sub. Girls typically prefer the, as she put it, "city guy". That might be her way of dropping a seed in your mind that you aren't what she expected so she might put you in the friendzone.

If your plans are still on, you have to at least go for the kiss by the days' end. Best of luck.

trp7471 · 2017-09-10T11:42:41+00:00

Did I fuck up by not going for a kiss - or should I not worry since we have plans anyway.'

You can't know yet with this girl, but in general, not escalating is fucking up. Always escalate. You say you had fun together. Did at any point you hold back on what you were gonna say? Did you have any moments where you thought you could have escalated and gone for the kiss.

You came here because you knew it didn't go as well as you wanted.

I got the vibe and shes more of a 'good' girl

You don't know that. You only saw her outward projection of that.

I like that your actually a good guy

Translation is that she thinks you're nice. That you could be her boyfriend. Or she's not interested, and that you're friendzoned. It's going to be much harder to get laid with her now, rather than if she saw you as a player.

Set up the next date and be sure to escalate.

Mr-Ed209 · 2017-09-11T13:45:51+00:00

No escalation is fine so long as the 2nd date gets you moving forward. With tinder the first date is kind of a pre-date in some senses. It's best to make it short - show the girl you're not some aspergic moron and then get out of there leaving positive vibes. It sounds like you did exactly that. It's also awkward as hell making moves when you're both sober, so I usually don't try anything until I get the 2nd date on my terms.

This 2nd date should be around your place with beer/wine whatever. Take charge, hang out on the couch and get drunk together and escalate.

That's all you should be thinking at this point because it's all you can 'control'. No point fretting thinking you should have done this/that etc.

Title	No escalation first date.. now what.
Author	Kingslayer9669
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	September 10, 2017 9:37 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6z7er6/no_escalation_first_date_now_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/no-escalation-first-date-now-what.114066 https://theredarchive.com/post/114066

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