In the midst of a culture war, a society needs people who disagree to be able to have non-toxic conversation. I think a critical enabler to non-toxic conversation between people who disagree about issues important to them is that they have relationships outside of the area of their disagreement. This will allow each to recognize that the other is actually not necessarily stupid, ignorant or evil, because they've seen the other person be perfectly fine and sensible person in a bunch of other areas. They also have a motivation to maintain harmony.

Compare this to an online discussion between two faceless, voiceless, and often. nameless strangers. They know nothing about other than that the other is on the evil/ignorant/stupid side of an important issue. Toxicity will be the rule, not the exception.

In this video, I a pro-choicer, new Christian, former hardcore atheist, but still a staunch secularist discuss abortion with a friend of mine from my church. He is pro-life and is actively involved in the pro-life movement. No chairs were thrown in the making of this video. https://youtu.be/AZFKv1YmmW0