Mark's a dude I know. He comes from a nice middle class family, went to college, got a good job in his home town, met a girl. They never married, but they had two kids. They live in a nice detached his parents own. He's always paid most of the bills as he makes far more than his partner.

Mark's a bit of a traditionalist. Not out of any sense of ideological commitment, just the way he was raised. His life plan was to get settled, enjoy some football, see his kids grow. He's also a bit of a softie. He never pushed back when his partner said she never wanted to get married, though he'd have preferred it. He let her run the house and decide on how the kids would be raised. He'd rather solve conflicts by giving in than standing his ground, at least at home.

Now his partner wants to split up, says she doesn't love him anymore. The kids are still young, not even high school age yet. And their mom has ideas.

First, she wants her own house. She says she's felt strangled by being so dependent on him. Note that Mark never stopped her from pursuing any career or making investments; as far as he knew she was ok with working a dead-end office job while he footed most of the bills. She wants out and to be "independent".

This "independence" comes in the form of her own house, for which she wants Mark pay the advance as she has little savings. She wants to keep "her" car, which is in Mark's name and on which he's making payments. And she wants monthly maintenance money for the kids, which she plans on having most of the time.

Mark hasn't taken this well. It came out of left field for him, and the requests aren't exactly trivial. His mom offered to let his ex move into another house they own, but the ex doesn't want to hear it, as she wants "independence". She's even accused him of trying to keep her under his thumb with this move. She says he's become controlling, and all her friends and relatives affirm this belief of hers.

Weirdly enough, she has also mentioned as an "acceptable" alternative that he should move out and leave her and the kids in the current house. The current house which his family owns, but that apparently wouldn't be controlling? the logic becomes quite fuzzy here. The current house is much larger and nicer than anything she could afford on her own though, even with Mark paying the advance. Maybe that is enough to not make it "controlling" anymore.

Mark and his ex still live together for now. Last I knew, the ex has decided on a house, and Mark has agreed to her requests and will pay the advance, plus some money to help her with moving costs and furniture. All in all, this might turn out less expensive than the "acceptable" alternative.

Oh, one last thing. When she dumped him, his ex took care to clarify that she wants what's best for him and will be happy to see him move on with a new woman when he feels like it. Mark didn't think it would happen soon, but as it turns out he hit it off with an old acquaintance a few months later. This has apparently become a source of contention: his ex (they still live together) doesn't want to hear about her, doesn't want to hear him talking to her, and generally gets upset when the subject is brought up.