How not to be nervous?

Rudeyyyy · 2017-10-01T04:05:02+00:00

First off the friend zone doesn't exist. It's this made up metaphor that guys who hide their true feelings for a woman put themselves in because they don't like them back after 6 months of hanging out and never making a move. So you put yourself in the friend zone.

Read Models by Mark Manson. But the only true way to get over it is trial and error. See what works and what doesn't. Yes you're going to get rejected. We all do. It builds thick skin so to speak. Put yourself out there. Only takes 1. And you can be 1-10 on the night but those other 9 don't matter bc you still got laid.

argcisman · 2017-10-01T07:49:58+00:00

You have to embrace your masculinity. Instead of hiding your sexual desires you should show it to the girls you are interested in. This is why you are nervous - you think that in order to win a girl over you must hide your masculine traits, when in fact masculine traits is the only thing that generates tingles to a girl.

itsdir0 · 2017-10-01T04:08:34+00:00

You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette.

hasantaskin33 · 2017-10-01T10:02:08+00:00

There is a different mindset, a mod that makes you think masculine all the time. I just realized this and it feels great. I was just uncomfortable with my looks and stuff. But once you get in masculine mod, your inner beta will shut up and you will be confident no matter what. I don't know how to catch that mindset, but this happened to me when I was in depression and anxious, finding excuses... I suddenly felt that way. Good luck.

RampageElephant · 2017-10-01T10:59:45+00:00

That's like asking how to launch a rocket into space...

But my advice would be that you have to identify situations where you get nervous and think about why you feel nervous then make corrections. Maybe its because once you've felt sexual attraction for someone you've 'lost' something. Possibly a sudden realization that this person actually seems to like you. Then you go all beta mode trying to impress them.

One thing I would say to watch out for are compliments from girls (or anyone really). Compliments from strangers are almost never genuine, seem completely out of place and are designed to disable the other person using flattery. The easiest way to counter flattery is to bring the situation back to reality. I usually just say "yeh it's alright". Once you do that for a while and feel more comfortable maybe you can return some witty or sarcastic comment intended for a laugh.

stillah · 2017-10-01T04:49:02+00:00

practice stoicism.

[deleted] · 2017-10-01T15:52:48+00:00

she put me in the friend zone

You put yourself in the friend zone.

The answer to your nervousness issue is self-performed exposure therapy. Aka, go get rejected a bunch.

fake7272 · 2017-10-01T19:59:03+00:00

Here is the thing, once you realize that you can say Anything, ask anything and make any joke you want it becomes insanely easy. The worst thing you can be is boring. Which is why girls date assholes and jerks. Because in the end of the day a girl would rather be upset then bored.

Just go out there and have fun. Ask a girl about her craziest college story. Ask how lesbian she is on a scale from 1 to 10. Make sexual jokes. Worst comes to worst you have a Funny story to tell your bros after.

R2-D2Fan · 2017-10-01T10:51:55+00:00

To conquer fear, you must become fear.

Kingslayer9669 · 2017-10-01T08:08:21+00:00

Try having a drink? All of my inhibitions go away after a beer insofar as to say, I have no anxiety approaching a hb9 successfully

I also notice a similar effect when I take my Adderall - my mind slows down and my confidence reappears.

Chances are your feelings are a projection of some insecurity you have. Become aware of what it is - then fix it. Most things are able to be changed if you try - unless you have a micro penis - in which case may you find a woman who likes baby dick.

Title	How not to be nervous?
Author	n2b10
Upvotes	22
Comments	16
Date	October 1, 2017 3:57 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/73jl6d/how_not_to_be_nervous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-not-to-be-nervous.115333 https://theredarchive.com/post/115333

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