I see it a defeat to not get what I want.

I have never accepted that I can't find a woman to trust. I have never accepted that I can't find a cute, sexy, trustworthy girl that I like. It honestly hurts me to see women in shorts or hear about their promiscuity because I WANT TO LIKE a girl. Like implies a good level of trust. I have never accepted that I can't like a girl.

I adopted a new mission a while ago. I wasn't fapping for some days I didn't notice (2 to 5 days). 10 minutes ago, I opened up some ass pictures (watching porn hurts me too but I've been doing it anyway generally). It led me here.

I am being more okay with accepting defeat. I can bend the knee to society and general cuckoldry and promiscuity and toxic freedom of women. I can accept defeat. I can quit the idea of liking a girl. I can quit hoping I can trust a girl. I can quit hoping, I can accept the loss, move on, and just do what you guys do, get fit, fuck without attachments, live.

I've read enough TRP about women. I've read about women from legit ultra sluts. I've read bad shit. I've seen bad shit. But I never accepted defeat. I am extremely stubborn. I never accept defeat even if I harm myself. Any tips on helping me make the leap?