I've been reading books for the last couple of days. Last book I read was "the subtle art of not giving a fuck" and now I'm going through Ray Dalio's "Principles: Life and work". And I reached a point where I can see where this is going.

My hamster pretty much reads books to postpone things I need to do because I'm afraid that I will uncover some underlying belief about me. Not only that but I think that the same fundamental reason applies to my social anxiety, which is why I haven't even approached half a girl yet in my entire life. I'm like 33 years old and all my relationships came from internet chatrooms and Tinder.

I also tend to think that my automatic avoidance to feeling uncomfortable is what keeps me in the limbo of what I call "reading TRP". It's like, you know what you have to do, I even know there's a tried and working methodical system to approach things will be "try - fail - re-calibrate" etc. but I just can't bring myself to do them.

I think that I'm such a cuck that I feel internal shame for approaching girls, maybe they'll give me a "fuck off, grandpa" for being roughly 10 years older than them. And the scenarios don't stop there but also expand to my career goals.

So, how the fuck do I get myself to gain initiative in my actions through life and become comfortable with recurring bouts of discomfort? Is it something that you just get used to over multiple attempts? I'm more surprised with the fact that I haven't got used to it yet, just how fucking sheltered am I due to my overprotective upbringing?!?