I use to be blue pills for years and by taking red pills and do mind game and etc with a girl i had a biggest crush on.. she disappearing from my life

I gave up dating or find a girl friend, i do had what red pillers would call pre selection but i dont want to hurt her by get a long with her and break up real quick once i had a crush on some one new

I try seeing sex worker at its not bad, i didnt hurt anyone feeling, i didnt suffer from my own imaginary expectation i have when the reality are difference

I have become more peaceful, no worrying about what i gonna see if i look at a crush story, no expectation for attention i always craving when i talk to good looking girl, i use their slang carelessly don’t worrying I’m gonna be a sissy guy friend or something so when i chat with them its a lot natural and flowing unlike back then that i try to be cool and masculine