Why is 'trying to get everyone to like you' a bad thing?

CD_Johanna · 2017-11-25T02:42:33+00:00

Epictetus sums it up: "If it should ever happen to you to be turned to externals in order to please some person, you must know that you have lost your purpose in life."

daytonbull90 · 2017-11-25T02:35:51+00:00

Because its trying to hard?

Popular people never try to get anyone to like them, people just like them naturally. Either because they are just decent people or they are valuable (good company, a source of social proof, status, etc).

Strop trying to get everyone to like you, instead work on being the type of person everyone likes.

A single person who dislikes you can ruin your reputation.

That depends on your reputation.

redhawkes · 2017-11-25T12:49:14+00:00

Inferiority complex. You think you should please everyone for them to like you. That's not how it works. You can only control yourself. Your opinion of yourself is the one that matters.

Also, find out why you have those approval and validation seeking behaviors, hint: low self esteem.

Rollo_Mayhem3 · 2017-11-25T03:01:19+00:00

my immediate response is "to be interesting, you have to be interested." Have you heard that one? People with adequate social skills will get annoyed at your eagerness, desperation, and otherwise general submissive behaviors because it manipulative at its core. You are trying "TO GET" something from someone...people can sense that and it doesn't build trust. What it does, is actually get you PLAYED OUT...and you'll be mocked and otherwise relegated to the bottom rung because in effect you are telling them you have NO value and you do not value yourself. People are going to like you or not relatively qiuckly unless you commit a massive social blunder. And if you are really well liked you might be able to survive that blunder...

Title	Why is 'trying to get everyone to like you' a bad thing?
Author	_MysticFox
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	November 25, 2017 2:24 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7fc9qm/why_is_trying_to_get_everyone_to_like_you_a_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-is-trying-to-get-everyone-to-like-you-a-bad.118914 https://theredarchive.com/post/118914