Crosspost "Breaking up with the best boyfriend I've ever had" from /r/FemaleDatingStrategy:

I've had 4 serious boyfriends - the first 3 were without a doubt, LVM.

I literally just came back from breaking up with the 4th one. I thought he was "the one", we talked about starting a life together and getting married. He never raised his voice at me, was always able to calm me down, always reassured me whenever I needed it. Surprised me with small gifts he bought or made, always made sure I was never hungry.

Compared to my exes, he was a diamond.

He spoke to me about his porn addiction during his younger years and how he quit 2 years ago. He was the most gentle person I've ever been with.

Compared to my porn addicted, death grip affected exes, he was amazing.

Over the last 7 months, he's made little comments that rubbed me the wrong way..but I just couldn't explain it. Some examples:

  1. "You're not like the other girls." And when I explained why that phrase rubbed me the wrong way, he started to explain how it meant he just never felt this way with anyone in his life ever.
  2. I made an off handed comment about how "men are trash". And he said..."well women can be trash too". We had a small discussion over it in which he agreed that me making that comment as a woman is different than him saying women can be trash too as a man are different. I still felt uneasy after it.
  3. The reason I had enough, was due to an IG video he liked. The video was a man holding a tablet at a restaurant. He asked his date if she wanted to come over after, and she said no. So he clicked split tab. I called him out on why he likes it....because for anyone to like a video on instagram..you have to find it funny. He said "well some women use dates to get free food". And when I said okay but..men using women for free sex?? Thats not wrong?? He just told me not to read into him liking the video.

From the instagram video, I FINALLY realized that he's been saying these small off handed comments since the beginning, I just couldn't quite place my hand on why exactly I felt uneasy.

When I went to go break up with him, he said I was overreacting to "just an instagram video". He said I've been more moody than normal. He said "people are allowed to have different views on things".

And...it clicked. He's better with his words than I am, and even if he doesn't realize it, he uses his words to make me doubt myself, and he is insensitive as fuck to my emotions and reactions. I AM ALLOWED to feel what I feel. It is OKAY for me to not want a boyfriend who thinks there are women out there just dating for free food (while not thinking about the other side).

He may have been the best boyfriend I've ever had. But not as bad trash is still trash.

Thank you FDS for helping me recognize this sooner. Thank you for giving me the courage to dump him. Thank you for giving me the strength to be by myself.

Posted by Icchy24 | 23 September 2020 | Link