I'm 21 years old.

My dad is basically a complete cunt. He's a textbook narcissist. Extremely controlling, arrogant, prone to fits of rage, he acts like a petulant child when he doesn't get his way.

When I was younger he would get into fits of rage where he would bang doors, throw things, stamp his feet. Basically throwing tantrums like a five year old.

He's highly emotional and basically the complete opposite of the calm, stoic, in control man that I want to become.

He doesn't take care of his own health very well. He's a bit overweight, has high blood pressure, doesn't sleep properly, unhealthy eating habits. Doesn't lift.

Underneath his arrogant front and domineering presence, he's highly insecure and jealous of others, constantly demeaning and putting other people down around me.

I'd imagine he has extremely low self esteem and self worth which leads to his behaviour. Obviously very poor traits

My mother is a very weak vulnerable woman (suffers from bipolar disorder) and he basically bullies her and manipulates her into doing what he wants. They resent each other and they sleep in different rooms. They are a classic example of a shitty, toxic co-dependent relationship.

Career wise, he has been stuck in a job that he is highly over qualified for and has never gotten a promotion, despite being very intelligent. (I'd imagine it's because he's a bullying wanker that his coworkers don't like)

I lived with this man for 20 years and he was horrible to me. Constantly criticising and undermining me, I was never able to please him no matter how hard I tried.

I've come to realise that I'm still trying to please him. I'm 2 years into an engineering degree because he told me it was going to make me money. He never gave a shit about my happiness, he only cared about bragging to people about how successful I am. I've learned that he now brags to people about how my degree is one of the best in the country and how successful I'm going to be with it.

I hate my degree and I'm miserable. I'm living another man's life. His presen e was so overpowering that I never got my own identity or my own sense of self.

TRP has helped a lot with being the father figure I should have had, but I still feel lost in life. I've been living a lie up until now.