Hey Hunches, how you doing?

I'm 20

Yeah. I saw that. I was trying to start a "friendly" conversation, since that's what you're looking for. But I can see this is going to be a rough one. Let's switch gears.

What sorts of things are you into?

Cooking

ROTFLMAO!

That's pretty obvious! Okay, no fat shaming intended. It was just funny.

You got jokes Hunchy. But seriously, what else?

Football

Oh, the old "I'm not like other girls" ploy. That's weak. Let's get real. What are you REALLY into?

Fashion

Based on your whorific attire, I am curious about what sort of fashion advice you have been taking.

Anyhoo. Moving along. What else makes you happy?

Road Trips

Nice! #MeAlso. I love a good road trip. I will trip the fuck out of some road.

Ok. You are not a lost cause after all.

So, what would you say is your life's passion?

Black Lives Matter

face palm

Look. Most decent people would agree with this statement. But geez, this is the most pathetic attempt at virtue signaling I have seen since "Save the whales"

Sorry. Your photo got my brain on that track.

Okay, let's try to salvage this shit show. Tell me something about yourself that is not about YOU.

I have a daughter

Okay. #MeAlso again too. Daughters are truly a gift to dads. So how long have you been married?

I am single

Wait. So.... you're a single mom? Oh boy. here we go. Let me guess, you are also a Pisces or a Leo. Amirite?

I'm a Leo

BINGO!

Okay. You are obviously a party girl. Tell me about the last party you went to before the pandemic.

I'm a homebody

Uh, yeah. I am going to call bullshit on that one.

Come on Hunchy, what are you even doing here?

I just need friends

Why the FUCK are you here then? Your photo and your words seem to be oriented towards banging bad boy types. It's right out of a playbook. You are a meme!

So, I will play along. Why would someone want to be friends with you? Bring your best friend game!

I'm fun to be around

Okay. I don't doubt that. I am not trying to be mean here, but your whole vibe screams "I WANT TO FUCK A BAD BOY WITHOUT SEEMING LIKE A SLUT!"

No I DON'T WANNA FUCK!!!!

Oh good Lord.

Look, I cannot help you Hunches. I wish you well with your quest to find "friends" I am sure that putting yourself out there in this way is THE best way to find a friend.

...But just out of curiosity, why not just find some girl friends at work, or at a woman's group, or in your family, or the thousands of other places people might look for actual "friends"?

Any thoughts?

Insta...

Yeah. I thought so.

Thanks to /u/womanrespecter99 for the original post.