How do I start to heal my narcissism?

Zadricl · 2017-12-04T18:13:56+00:00

Stages of TRP:

1 - Beta boy with no known boundaries invests his true self in woman, gets burned.

2 - Burned beta seeks to protect himself from previous trauma and also become more effective with women.

3 - Burned beta finds and uses TRP to justify his narcissist development. Women are sluts, my needs are king, everyone else's don't matter.

4 - Burned beta transforms into pseudo/fake alpha. On the exterior he is cunning, charming, bold and hyper masculine. On the interior he is the same burned beta. Although he is much better at navigating the smp, nothing has really changed internally.

-- This is where most on TRP stop their journey --

5 - The law of diminishing returns rings true. Fake alpha/burned beta is unhappy. Slamming pussy is great, but nothing has changed internally. He realizes there is more to life and seeks a change.

6 - After developing narcissism for years, he has developed a pseudo ability to ngaf about others perceptions of him and a pseudo ability to enforce his apparent boundaries. This is a good thing, however. This is the first step in frame cultivation and is absolutely essential.

7 - Burned beta/fake alpha realizes point six. This is where you're at.

8 - The next step is two fold:

8a - Maintain self awareness at all times. Maintain frame/self control at all times. (This is why your narcissist phase was extremely valuable. You couldn't have developed such a level of self control without it.)

8b - Understand that your narcissism is actually a hyper investment in 1) avoiding rejection and 2) the perceptions of other people. To begin peeling it away, you must understand that you're being a fucking pussy by hiding your true (yes, beta) self from others. I am telling you now to show your true self. BUT... You have frame control and know your boundaries. This is the beauty in all of it. Now you can begin being who you are, because you've established the ability to control who gets to see, how much you're willing to show. And, should someone cross your boundaries, you can ruthlessly cut them off.

People are attracted to each others rough edges. It is the shameful, compromising, weak and brutally honest parts of us that let others know that we are in fact, human. We share in the same struggle they do. Bro, this is what you've been suppressing.

Girls need two things:

1) Rock solid frame. You knowing who you are and your boundaries. This is the definition of your masculinity. This makes her feel safe, cared for and thrilled to stick by your side.

2) A soul underneath that rock solid frame. She needs you to have a complete lack of fear in her perception of you. She wants to see your soul. She wants to see your vulnerable, unique, brutally honest self. This takes MASSIVE amounts of courage to do. This is the entire reason you became a narcissist and changed your entire fucking personality in the first place; you were trying to avoid this, while still getting pussy.

Find the courage to remove your narcissist social filters and express your true intentions in how you live, what you say and what you do, in every moment. This is where true game comes from. Game is simply uncovering your true self and intentions, without fear that she will reject that true self. When you do this, women can tell. They feel comfortable and follow suit.

Since I began letting down my narcissist shield and found the balls to express whatever the fuck I wanted, free of her perception of me, every single girl I've interacted with has been thrilled and begins to do the same thing.

The whole premise is this: If I care more about my ability to express myself to the world, than how the world interprets that expression, that means I respect, love and value myself more than the perceptions of others. This is the essence of Alpha. Time to ascend, mother fucker.

Edit:

Obvious repercussions of honesty

1) you will get rejected by some (possibly many) women. But let me tell you this. The regret you feel after rejection is not necessarily the fact she doesn't want you, but that you changed your behaviour to try and attract her. The real rejection is of yourself in this case! There is no greater crime to one's self than this.

2) If you courageously be your true self and she doesn't vibe with you, the rejection is absolutely nothing like what it is when you're 'gaming' as a narcissist. When I used to pretend to be cool, pretend I wasn't interested etc and got rejected, that fucking Sucked. But it Sucked because first, I rejected myself by pretending and second, because even with all that effort, she still rejected me lmaoo.

Here's the kicker, most women can intuitively tell when you're gaming like a narcissist. How? Subtle flaws in your behaviour stand out like fireworks to her subconscious. Unless you're leo fucking decaprio, most girls know you're acting, at least on some subconscious level. This is their evolutionary advantage.

LateralThinker13 · 2017-12-04T15:52:33+00:00

Therapy won't fix this, anyways. What you describe really needs a psychiatrist. Therapy is a slow, long-term solution to minor issues. Lack of empathy to a degree some would call sociopathy is something more in line for a (usually male) psychiatrist to treat.

Also, I don't think you sound like a narcissist. You sound like someone with no empathy. That's two different things. Narcissism is self-love and self-centeredness; they know about others' feelings, they just don't care about them because they themselves are what's important. Someone lacking empathy, however, is someone who has issues connecting with others. They try to connect, but the circuitry is malfunctioning.

The fact that you want to reach out to others but have issues with it is good evidence that you aren't a narcissist.

Seek a professional and good luck. You've already made big steps in determining that you have an issue that you want corrected.

dagar_the_dragon · 2017-12-04T16:14:47+00:00

The fact that you can articulate what issues you are facing is a great first step. Most people that are Narcs (potentially as most never get treatment/diagnoses because they're not the ones with the problem...) much less guys that are NPD and probably Cluster B. Firstly, do some research and go get a diagnoses. You may not be an NPD/Cluster B and may just be an insensitive asshole ... self diagnoses with Internet knowledge cuts both ways. A disorder is just that ... you can't fix it with a pill. But you can address aspects of it with treatment.

Ironically my experience is on helping heal the victim of an NPD. But that's a completely different story.

Recognizing the problem is step 1. The journey to irrational self confidence and gaining some level of empathy are going to be a key part of your journey in life. Both are likely "alien" to you. Good luck!

htbf · 2017-12-04T16:18:37+00:00

Two books.

Inside the mind of a Psychopath by Fallon
How to get friends and influence people by Carnegie.

And read up on Stoicism and the great philosophers behind it. You can not give a fuck about humans but still find emotional empathy with some people.

You have nothing to heal, narcissism is fine. What you have to learn is how to put on a social ask so that you can learn to listen to the boring shit people have to say and steer the conversation towards more interesting places or towards a graceful exit out of it. BPD girls spark you because they are the opposite of boring, but it's not supposed to crash in 2 days. And there are other types of interesting girls that are not clinically impaired. Swipe on Tinder like a madman and don't hold back, you'll filter quickly through the boring and meet the crazies.

RPStone · 2017-12-04T16:35:25+00:00

Along with the other suggestions, you need to read "How to win friends and influence people".

randarrow · 2017-12-05T03:57:15+00:00

So, three ways of looking at this:

You're wrong, in which case keep looking.
Is only narcissistic tendencies and only a part of other issues.
NPD has developed into a full blown personality disorder.

Advice I could give, keep studying. And, I would say keep a journal. A full blown personality disorder would include things like dissociation and transferance, journal is important for dealing with those. If you simply have narcissistic tendencies, the journal helps you understand what is going on. If something else, journal helps.

I kept sporadic journals over the years. It's like reading a story written by someone else about me. Very different perspectives. A journal is great for introspection. There are lots of exercises for dealing with narcissm, or anything else, a journal should give more information to work with.

And, remember there is such a thing as a healthy dose of narcissm. These types of things evolved for a purpose. Like anything too, there are unhealthy levels.

[deleted] · 2017-12-04T15:18:12+00:00

You can quit acting like an insecure little bitch because that’s the source of it

Title	How do I start to heal my narcissism?
Author	ThrowawayGG711
Upvotes	11
Comments	9
Date	December 4, 2017 2:41 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7hhpra/how_do_i_start_to_heal_my_narcissism/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-start-to-heal-my-narcissism.119440 https://theredarchive.com/post/119440

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