I’m afraid of dating women at this point. How do I rid of this need to be with someone in order to be happy?

Sonic_The_Hamster · 2020-08-02T19:47:47+00:00

You need friends, that's all, you need people around you that you like.

You need hobbies and things to study.

You need something to focus on.

One thing I will say that will help you when you get lonely. The common denominator is you, you're the reason for the bad relationships, you picked those women, you let them become what they become, you allowed yourself to be in these situations.

Now I'm not blaming you, I'm just pointing out that in all likelihood you'll put yourself in a similar situation and you'll let it all happen again. Do not date unless you're confortable in who you are and that you can direct things the way you want. You noticing that all they care about is themselves and not the whole is you waking up, it's not going to get any better no matter what.

Be the best man you can be and women will come to you, ignore them and they'll want to know you. At that moment you're in charge of the situation and should you wish to date you get to set the rules. Remember though if you don't like someone as a person and want to just hang with them they aren't a keeper and you don't want to get to tied up.

chintan22 · 2020-08-03T02:23:48+00:00

There's a reason mgtow is gaining so much traction

CertainCrow1 · 2020-08-02T20:52:23+00:00

Yup no need to feel pressured to date again. Often it is so one sided. You get these posts from girls Bout find a man who will treat you this way, that way, who will look at you like this dog. Never the other way around. You'll save a lot of money, time, energy just focusing on your goals, hobbies, etc. All you need I'd a solid group of friends and things to keep busy and you won't feel so lonely. That creeps in when you're sitting there bored I would thini. Before marriage I had thoughts about living the dream and all that, but was busy enough loneliness wasn't something I experienced often. Felt it more during marriage tbh. When she went to visit family for a month or something I'd miss my kids from time to time but it was actually pretty awesome doing things I hasn't been able to do for a while and catching up with friends I hasn't seen in a long time

2020-08-03T08:29:13+00:00

one-sided conversations are an instant red flag. if the woman is interested in you she WANTS to learn things about you a as well.

so find a woman you can chat with.

also as others have already said i don’t like the idea of looking for a girlfriend just because you’re lonely. i think that could result in a not so healthy relationship. first of all you should make peace with yourself.

2020-08-03T11:18:47+00:00

If it's just about the loneliness to something with friends or if you can and want get a pet.
You'll get rid of the need to be with someone over time.
You have to learn that you don't need another human being to be complete. Even playing games online can help you getting rid of that.
Just do whatever you want as long as it's legal of course and it won't take long until you get rid of the need to be with someone.

ihhhhrapaizzz · 2020-08-03T18:35:09+00:00

Hey king :) about the loneliness I suggest getting a dog, hanging out with friends or even, If you have a stable life, adopting a kid.

taylor_beebz · 2020-08-03T18:34:08+00:00

On mobile.

As a guy in his late 20’s that has really stepped out of the dating pool in recent years here is some advice I can give.

Friends. Friends are so fucking important. Having strong relationships with your friends will fill the void of not having a girlfriend/ partner. By having friends that you can openly discuss your personal problems to, share happy experiences, or essentially just be vulnerable with will dramatically increase your quality of life.
Have Goals. Something that I had to learn late was men need goals. We need a path. Because once you have a goal or path to take it will give you purpose and you will be able to pour your time into achieving that goal. I got really into music production, and I hired a mentor that I work with once a week to get better. Find your goal. Find your path.
Hobbies. Regardless of what it is. Have a hobby. Because it will allow you to spend time doing something you enjoy in your free time but typically with most hobbies there is a community in which you can be apart of. Gaming is an easy example. This will allow you to have a plethora of people to talk to and share your passion for a common interest.
Learn to love yourself and to love being alone. I think a lot of people jump into relationships to make them feel whole or to feel secure. I highly recommend to take time to personally reflect on yourself. Build a sense of security in being alone. When you learn to love yourself, you don’t need someone else to do it for you. It worked for me and my best friend.

Hope this helped man.

euthanatos777 · 2020-08-04T00:48:06+00:00

Smart idea. These days it's just a matter of time before a girl regrets having sex with you and claims that it was "rape" even though she consented at the time. And who do you think the courts are going to believe? Women are a mine field these days. Just don't even bother. They aren't worth it - they never were.

Unshack · 2020-08-03T07:05:13+00:00

get a hobby. Software development is free to learn and a great hobby that pays off in the long run.

Title	I’m afraid of dating women at this point. How do I rid of this need to be with someone in order to be happy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	28
Comments	12
Date	August 2, 2020 7:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/i2i7a3/im_afraid_of_dating_women_at_this_point_how_do_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-afraid-of-dating-women-at-this-point-how-do-i.1196181 https://theredarchive.com/post/1196181

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