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What to Do When You're Feeling Lonely | Art of Manliness

bkrugby78

June 15, 2020
5 upvotes
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/connection-in-a-lonely-world-vivek-murthy/
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Post Information
Title What to Do When You're Feeling Lonely | Art of Manliness
Author

bkrugby78

Upvotes 5
Comments 6
Date June 15, 2020 11:31 PM UTC
(6 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/h9rkek/what_to_do_when_youre_feeling_lonely_art_of/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/what-to-do-when-youre-feeling-lonely-art-of.1197420
https://theredarchive.com/post/1197420
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Comments

[–]bkrugby78[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

So I have been listening to the Art of Manliness a lot during Quarantine. I find it is helpful, as I go about my business, whether I am walking or out for a fun. It's not necessarily a man focused podcast, the guests Bret has on talk about issues that can apply to both men and women, as well as trans people.

This one stuck with me, I think, because often I do get feelings of loneliness. I do live alone, even though technically I have a roommate, and often I have the feeling that I am just isolated from everyone. Like, I go to the store, not that I need anything, but just so that I can have some interaction with a human.

I thought this would be applicable to share to this community, maybe especially for those that get the same feeling.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Before I began working in a more socially engaging job, I used to keep the TV on just to feel like there was "something going on" when I was alone at home.

BTW, I think there's a lot of interesting and adaptable material on that site, even though the author comes from a particular cultural context. I don't agree with all of it, but I like the distinction between virtue - being good - and manliness, which he defines as "being good at being a man". That separation has been useful in defining my own concept of masculinity so that it is less a source of shame or value and more a source of power to be tapped into.

[–]bkrugby78[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I think you can find value in anything, even if you don't necessarily agree with everything. Like, I disagree with menslib a lot, but sometimes they have great discussions. That's an example.

I like the last part you said there, something about being a power you can work from. That's definitely something I can connect with.

I wonder if all the time I spend on social media, is me trying to connect with some sort of engagement. And yet, I am not feeling fulfilled much by it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, for me I've concluded that social media and online conversations tend to be about wanting to be heard. Sometimes that's in a negative way, like having a bitter argument with someone. Like you, I never feel fulfilled by it, just riled up!

[–]bkrugby78[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Threads like this are good.

But on Facebook, I have to pause...when I read something. Then I think "is this worth replying to? Is it someone I know? Someone I don't? Do I really want to go down this rabbit hole?"

A lot of us REACT without taking time to stop, think about it, reflect, then consider whether to reply or not. I follow quite a diverse group of people on Facebook/Twitter. I always have to consider who is posting content, what their position is, background, before deciding on what to write.

I make it a point to call my parents at least once a week. They are 85 and 90 respectively. Mostly to make sure they are alright, but also to feel that connection from two people I know do actually care about me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That sounds like a good idea. I chat to my parents (similar ages to yours) about once a week too.

Yeah, I sometimes have to ask myself why I feel the need to jump into a debate on Facebook. Do I really want to correct that person's understanding or am I just feeling the need to be heard.

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