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"I emphasize only that men used lax acknowledgement to deflect or evade compliments more then twice as often as women (22.8%vs. 10.9%), possible supporting the hypothesis that men tend to interpret compliments as FTAs; face threatening act and that compliments may be FTAs themselves."

GrandpaLeiho

June 5, 2020

9 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	"I emphasize only that men used lax acknowledgement to deflect or evade compliments more then twice as often as women (22.8%vs. 10.9%), possible supporting the hypothesis that men tend to interpret compliments as FTAs; face threatening act and that compliments may be FTAs themselves."
Author	GrandpaLeiho
Upvotes	9
Comments	6
Date	June 5, 2020 2:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/gwvp1d/i_emphasize_only_that_men_used_lax/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-emphasize-only-that-men-used-lax-acknowledgement.1197682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1197682

Comments

[–]SweatyAdvance3 points 6 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Some additional notes from the paper I found interesting:

- women use compliments to each other significantly more often than they do to men or men do to each other

- women compliment each other on appearance more than on any other topic

- compliments on possessions are used significantly more often between males

- compliments to those of different status tend to focus on skills or performance, reinforcing the importance of female-preferential appearance compliments as solidarity signals

- women of higher status are more likely to receive compliments than higher status men

- men's evasive compliment responses more often take the form of a marked avoidance strategy than women's do, suggesting they are more anxious to avoid recognizing and responding to a compliment than women

The last one I found interesting. I tend to avoid compliments myself. Also, I was already aware of the lack of compliments men receive, so I make a point to compliment my friends on something whenever I see them.

[–]GrandpaLeiho[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SweatyAdvance2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SweatyAdvance1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

" "A compliment on someone's appearance is difficult to interpret other then as an expression of solidarity, a positively affective speech act, so the predominance of this compliment topic in women's interactions is consistent with the view that women use compliments for this positive function. Compliments on possessions are much more vulnerable to interpretation as FTAs since...there is the possibility that the complimenter will be heard as expressing desire for the object referred to "

Or, it could be concluded that women inherently know the value of their appearance, so women complement other women on things they value the most.

Same for men. Men compliment other men on the things they would value the most (ie cars, watches, etc)

-"there is a roughly equal tendency for men to compliment women on either appearance or skill and performance. "

I would imagine men also know women value their appearance, but are less comfortable with those types of compliments and find it more socially acceptable to complement their skills or performance instead. Note how they are less likely to compliment women on their possessions.

[–]SweatyAdvance1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

" In fact, ignoring or legitimately evading a compliment were the second most popular male response strategies. Since these strategies would be used more often when a compliment is viewed as embarrassing, males' preference for this strategy supports the idea that men interpret compliments as FTAs more often than women did. "

OR it could be said that men avoid acceptable complements because they inherently know that to accept the compliment would be, in a way, pedestalizing themselves. Which in this current social climate is unacceptable. And I think the following quote reinforces that:

" No matter what the response, the hearer must either contradict the speaker or praise him/herself, violating a politeness principle. "

Maybe men are just more inclined to not violate politeness principles? Seems like a more likely conclusion to me based our current social climate of "female empowerment" and "male shame".