How to catch up socially?

mallardcove · 2017-12-26T00:57:58+00:00

Take it from me who has lived in 7 different cities since graduating in college in 2011, having to move all the time and re-establish myself socially often.

If you have the right frame people will gravitate toward you. If you come across as an interesting person with interesting interests and hobbies, people will want to be around you. That's half the battle. After that all you have to do is not be an autist and you should have no trouble attracting people and making friends.

If you come across as as a loser, or a creep, or someone who is boring, its harder.

One thing I have always done when moving to a new city is getting a 2nd job at a bar or restaurant. Not saying you should do this as I do it for the money, not to meet people, but it really helps connect me with the area and the people. The environment is a lot more casual, relaxed and loose than the professional environment I work in for my day job so its a lot easier to let loose and just be yourself without worrying about the stick up everyone's asses in the professional setting. Every restaurant/bar I've worked at I have easily built up a good circle of friends whether they be co-workers or customers. Rinse and repeat.

Seriously though, the most important thing is to not be an autist or a loser. Hold frame then do shit like lift so more people respect you and its pretty easy. People want to hang out with me all the time and invite me places all the time. Availability also has a role in friendships, not just relationships. I'm a busy man so my schedule is pretty full most of the time, so when I do decide to go hang out with people, it's a big deal. If I had nothing but free time, people would wonder why and the value of hanging out with me would go down.

Title	How to catch up socially?
Author	WeirdSmartKid
Upvotes	5
Comments	3
Date	December 26, 2017 12:50 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7m4oy4/how_to_catch_up_socially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-catch-up-socially.120741 https://theredarchive.com/post/120741

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