I do not know if this topic has been discussed in other posts especially as it pertains to the abuse, defamation, bullying, harassment and humiliation against men taking place in AWDTSG FB Groups. I presume so. 

Having said that, can we discuss Toxic Femininity? I have a more non-traditional perspective of Toxic Femininity and women's expectations as evidenced in many AWDTSG posts. It indicates a double standard that men be high earners, financially independent and in charge (but not too much), be emotionally vulnerable (but not too much) and open to do all things including more and more with respect to division of labor in the home (while women focus on ‘self care”). Many women are no longer filling matriarchal roles or supporting the male counterpart in the way they (we) have historically and the impact is increased pressure on the existence of men. 

Historically women brought the matriarchal, loving, nurturing component to a relationship and family. For the most part men are still the 'breadwinners'. Women have taken on less responsibilities - contributing less than they ever have. This puts men on an island of vulnerability which is increasingly unrealistic and the dynamic between men and women relative to power sharing needs to be reconsidered. What we have evolved into is not sustainable. Perhaps this has contributed to the rising divorce rates? 

Whitewashing to the structural equity of relationships is dangerous for men and our society in general. Approximately 35-40 years ago women began being belittled for being stay at home moms which pushed more women into the workforce which has had profound societal and familial impacts. We either support the success of men and their innate masculinity which is to provide - not to reach impossible levels of income as shown on reality tv. Women have developed such high standards that even "average" young men are marginalized for the first 25-35 years of their life. We have forgotten that average is GOOD. 

If we create a stereotype that the average man is a "subman" the result is low self-worth, poor mental health and more. In the past, men making 50-70K were rewarded with loving, supportive wives ("I know you work so hard - you provided for this family"). It seems, average men aren't treated like they are special, and they are. All men are. Just as all women are. And sites such as AWDTSG contribute to this. The remarks are horrifyingly demeaning. 

What is partnership? In the current model, it seems "the man owes me". The man has to chase - but when he does he is posted in AWDTSG and defamed for chasing or for not liking you - for which he is entitled - just as women are. We have to make a choice, we either feminize men and continue to deny them a vote in how they are perceived and respected and recognize that their feelings matter or we will witness the continued deterioration of male mental health, leadership and desire to be providers at all. 

Average and high performing men: don't lose sight of your herculean efforts. You do not need to be a victim of the negative spouse syndrome. Well intentioned men who are simply leading their single or even married lives being posted in AWDTSG as a form of humiliation or retaliation is a prime example. Expect a certain level of validation that is reciprocated. Step back and reorient why you are doing what you do. You should be doing it for yourself, prioritize and build satisfaction out of your utility. 

Men have struggled with a slew of issues prior to female empowerment but now they still need to provide and they have lost the SUPPORT variable in it and as witnessed in AWDTSG are abused, mistreated, bullied, harassed and humiliated - perpetuating the cycle of mental health struggles, depression and suicide. 

Men’s value from society is what he produces - that is how you are graded. What kind of family do you lead? What kind of life do you provide? What security do you provide? It ties back to Mr. Roger's principles that everyone needs to hear. Your worth isn't defined by your utility alone. You get to build things into your day that make you feel good and men, you aren't good at prioritizing yourselves. When women support men, they will be even more appreciative than women in this domain. A lot easier to please than women in the recent era. 

The notion of Toxic Femininity is, at its core, a result of the demise of the traditional feminine and masculine roles and what you are witnessing in AWDTSG groups is indicative of the self-perceived “power” that some women feel they have acquired (perhaps as a result of the “MeToo” movement to subject men to abhorred treatment without the opportunity to defend themselves and their impressions of the women in question, perhaps even facts. 

Toxic Femininity is on the uprise and if the tables were turned, what would be the outcry? I am all for protecting and supporting women from predators. I am not in support of Toxic Femininity that is evidenced in AWDTSG groups (NYC is truly horrifying). The abuse is rampant and the echo of laughter left by each emoji, or lol, is indicative of the nature of these posts. It is for the most part, NOT to protect women but to humiliate and demean men with an audience of women sitting at home salivating over “the tea”.

*Please excuse any typos. Thank you for reading and for your feedback and remarks.