My name is Wrong_Opinion, and I have been a oneitis sufferer for just over a year.

"Hiiiiii Wrong_Opinion."

My father, who is twice my age, experienced with women, and wise, gave me the following advice last year after my ex-gf terminated a three year relationship over the phone on the same day I was fired from my job. (You can't quit! You're fired!)

Son, the best way to get over a girl, is to get under a different one.

I was angry at this advice, because I was still an AFC and was still operating on all the theory associated with that.

You can't just go out and fuck chicks after the love of your life abruptly says goodbye! Besides, that would be treating women like people who may be more interested in sex than friendship at a given time, and that's counter to the sacred female image I have pedestalized in my mind!

My father, being wise and knowing my mind better than I did, simply nodded when I raised my numerous objections and excuses and said no more on the subject.

Cue three months later. I've stooped super low just to get some kind of physical attention because I'm just that thirsty. I am 6'4". I have thick black hair, a strong jaw, I am 200lbs. I have a lean but full masculine figure. I am waiting in my apartment for the arrival of a female who is 5'9", 200 lbs, and you can guess the rest.

This experience turned out to be my benefit however. This chick had daddy issues, and literally begged me to use her tits as punching bags while I reamed her ass out with my tunnel snake.

I felt powerful, fulfilled, and entirely out of my comfort zone. I had to overcome my religious idealizations of femininity right then and there, because if I didn't this fat bitch would just pack up and find some other dude to turn her ass into sliced honeybaked ham.

After the deeds were done, she walked out the door with puppy eyes, and I plopped onto my couch.

I felt ashamed, powerful, angry, free, and ecstatic all at the same time. The scales had been lifted from my eyes, dissolved by the stinging salty sweat I produced from laying pipe.

This, however, was only the beginning of my recovery process. A process that continues to this day, as I often find myself comparing other women to the idealized picture of the ex-gf. It's an internal struggle, as every time I catch myself in the act I must immediately and harshly criticize that image.

No, the sex wasn't the best in the universe. She was insecure with her own sexuality and allowed that to sabotage bedroom sessions on multiple occasions.

Sure, she had awesome baking skills and filled you with peppercorn butterbiscuits and peanut butter brownies. Of course, always followed up with a lecture about the padding beginning to appear on my tummy and how “we” should go on a diet. (I now endeavor to eat close to the Primal Blueprint. I still fold and buy Taco Bell from time to time, but oh well.) And so on and so on.

Oneitis is a constant struggle. It requires vigilance, discipline, and lots of freaky sex with strange women (or men, as it happens) to overcome. But it can be done.

To my fellow oneitis sufferers, I say to you:

The best way to get over a girl, is to get under a different one.