This last year has been hectic to say the least and it doesn’t seem like it’s slowing down anytime soon. Since things first fell apart with my marriage I’ve spent a great deal of time, energy and also a few dollars working on myself. The 10 year marriage took a real toll on my mental, emotional/mental and physical health and I knew that I’d have to whip things back into shape for my own good and also if I ever wanted to get back out there some day.

Since my marriage ended I’ve been able to dial in my nutrition & fitness (losing over 40lbs and counting, back to my pre-marriage weight), find a good therapist and attend regularly, completely revamp my wardrobe (especially since nothing I had fit anymore), work on my physical/self-care attributes that I previously let slide (skin care, teeth whitening, etc) and just spend time by myself doing whatever the hell I want. Those things have helped a great deal and I plan to continue doing them as long as I possibly can, regardless of relationship status.

Recently I’ve begun to have recurring thoughts of getting back out and dating again. Nothing desperate, simply that it might be fun to dip my toes into the water and start honing my skills in that department. The only problem is, it’s been over 11 years since i was in this position and the dating world has changed drastically in that time. Hell, I don’t even think Tinder was a thing back then and all of my dates (including my now-ex) came from my social circle in college. Just thinking about the dating world today and what I’ve heard takes my anxiety from 0-100 real quick, but I’m hoping I’m simply overthinking it.

I don’t want to just jump in completely unprepared and look like a fish out of water, so I’d love to get insight from those who have or are currently doing it. I’ve got time to do it right and have no desire to rush into anything.

  • What’s it like out there for a guy in their 30s? Anything helpful to know or prepare for? Does your divorce ever come up as a red flag or issue?

  • Profile Photos: Unfortunately I don’t have many photos of myself from the past few years, and I’ve changed so much since then they wouldn’t any favors. Any recommendations on taking photos and what types of photos do the best? I’ve learned that gym selfies and showing off your fish catch of the day don’t do well, at least according to TikTok.

  • What has your success been like since dating again after your divorce? Are any apps better than the others? If you had to start over is there anything you would do different?

  • Any other good resources or pieces of advice? It seems like most of the stuff I find online is aimed at slightly younger generations or those that haven’t been through all the hardships that many of us share.

I’m not planning to get my hopes up with anything but I’ve always been told if you’re going to do something you need to put your best effort. Any input or discussion is greatly appreciated!