Ok- maybe this is the wrong sub, but I thought I’d give it a chance.

We’re going through some life transitions and I’m becoming a stay at home wife after earning my degrees. This was not my first choice, but due to immigration paperwork is what I’m going with for at least 4 months. This period will cost us about 7-8k (Oct-Dec) in expenses just related to myself. We just paid for a est. 6k trip to Boston. He bought me a new vehicle 70k and the holidays are coming.

He says we’re doing fine. But this is the first period of my life im not making income. He has a pretty hefty salary which is what makes me feel ‘safe’ however… he really wants to quit his job. He has said it would change our pace of life but he hates his job and wants to workout more etc (im paraphrasing)

Im nervous because we just took on all these expenses and potentially more upcoming unless I spend 3-4K doing more immigration paperwork that’ll allow me to work sooner. Knowing he might quit his job makes me genuinely scared, I grew up in poverty and with a lot of financial turnmoil. I worked extra hard in school and that’s how I was able to get here to the US. *our monthly expenses totaling 10-13k estimated

I feel like i placed my career at halt because he offered me to stay at home this remainder of the year(I was going to process my paperwork when it was only 1k investment) and now he wants to quit his job, etc.

He got upset because this morning I heard how he was feeling and then wanted some time for myself. Meaning he couldn’t share his feelings etc. which is … not true per se but my body genuinely goes into ‘flight or fight’ mode with these things.

I have therapy on Tuesday but May I… just let this out of my chest… I guess i just feel somewhat stressed because this isn’t who I thought I married? I love career oriented people. He now says he wants something less etc and I’m like… what? How in the world are we going to do all these things you tell me (get a cabin, yearly skii trips, me having all sorts of classes) when you are stepping down…he says he wants to be more of an athlete and his true focus to be working out but like that sounds… idk. Like you’re the provider, im looking at you for direction and lately it feels like there’s none?

How do you all act supportive when you’re genuinely fearful inside? *if it helps, Im on the spectrum so sometimes certain emotions like empathy aren’t so in the nose for me.