I need advice from women of my perspective. I have two issues with my husband, one mostly trivial and one very serious.

The serious one: My husband has cancer, currently waiting on surgery that is delayed, that has obviously been devastating. My husband is also a terrible alcoholic that is mostly in remission. I let him have a few drinks on Friday because I felt bad, then that turned into a few the next day, and then it went from like 3 to now 12 drinks, and I ask him not to keep drinking like this and he promises me he won’t, this promise made on Wednesday, I asked him when he would stop he promised me (looked me in the eye) and said he would stop on October first. This isn’t our first rodeo with him falling off the wagon and it usually ends up with him in the hospital. It’s been very exhausting trying to get him to sober up and he has been mixing Xanax in with the beer. In a “normal” marriage I would have been screaming at him and stormed out. In the last few days I’ve been a wide variety of things from angry and hateful to over the top loving and empathic, to sobbing and begging him to stop doing this to our marriage and to me. He keeps promising oh tomorrow will be different and it’s been slightly different, he’s only allowed 4 beers. But yesterday he promised today none. But has convinced me into agreeing to 4 again. What would you ladies do in the situation? Just let him keep drinking until it’s out if control and you are married to an active alcoholic or put your foot down in a kind and respectful manor and say you need to cut it the fuck out (said respectfully).