I met this girl through a friend. She thought I was super hot (surprise to me). Since I had never gone out with anyone before, I thought, "Why not, it'll probably go south very quick. But I may as well get some experience out of it".

I had crazy social anxiety all throughout high school so this was completely new territory for me.

Anyway, I get her number through said friend, and to my surprise, the conversation actually goes pretty well. I actually had fun messaging back and forth with her. She mentions coffee a place she likes to go to, so we set up a date.

I was shitting my pants before this date. But as soon as she started talking, I completely calmed down. Her social skills are so good, she could manage to talk to even me.

Here I was expecting this date to go sour. But we end up sitting there talking for like 4 hours.

Anyway, fast forward. We hang out 2-3 more times. Made out, cuddled, cute shit, whatever. I never pushed more than that even though I think she kinda hinted at it, but she kinda talked about her ex a lot. And I knew he was a pretty shitty and abusive person. Basically used her. So I didn't want to be all, "Let's fuck" right away.

We message more. She's sending texts like, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE <3<3". Shit like that. Her ex was such a shitty person to her, that me just being nice I guess, made her feel really good. I confirmed this through my friend who said that I'm all she talks about when they hang out.

Then it slows down. She says she gets into depressive moods where she doesn't feel like talking to anyone. Really 'cold' replies to Snapchats as well.

I think, "Ok. That's fine. I get it".

A week after barely any contact, I ask how she's holding up. Then Then she sends me, "I'm really sorry, but I'm not looking for anything romantic right now but we can still be friends and send each other stuff." with a little explanation. I just say, "Don't worry about it".

I talked to my friend. Apparently she thought I was about to ask her out before she hit me with that text. Was that the real issue?

It went from me being the most amazing thing, to just letting it go.

At first I thought I did something wrong. Was I being too needy? I was Snapchatting her basically every morning and all throughout the day. I was crafting Snapchat masterpieces, but so was she. So I didn't think It was that bad.

After that whole ordeal, I didn't talk to her for a whole 2 months. She then tells said friend that I never talk to her. The reason I never did is because I thought she was still in that mood. I'd just get those 'cold' responses again. Why be annoying, ya know?

But Ok, so she wants to talk (but friend confirmed she's still not looking for anything more than friends). So we Snapchat a bit like once a week. Really short. Casual stuff.

I initiated every time. She never randomly sent me anything. So I stopped. And now nothing. So I am very confused here. Does she want to talk or no? My friend says she's being confusing as well.

I don't get it. Do I just not talk to her? I'm so lost in this.

Now, this shouldn't be some big issue. EXCEPT. I've been thinking about this girl almost every day since we split off when I probably shouldn't be. My brain has been going, "Oh, once she feels better, she'll see you again that way". But that's not guaranteed.

I still haven't fucked a girl yet and I'm turning 20 soon. For the first time, I feel almost comfortable setting up a Bumble. Previously, my SA would have considered that completely off limits. "What if people I know see me on there", etc.

Cause I know that even if nothing goes very far, I'm still gaining experience with women and it'll help my social anxiety a ton.

Kind of a lengthy post, so I appreciate if you read through that bullshit and shitty writing. If you have any advice or pointers on this situation as I someone completely new to TRP, that'd be great.

Thanks ya'll.