I won't go into detail, but I had a very fine young lady in my sights that didn't work out too well. Keep in mind that it wasn't onenitis, it's just that I enjoyed this one more than the others.

She basically said, hey, I don't want anything long-term which led me to just saying Later because I didn't want anything but that. After the fact, I guess I was sort of down on myself. I began to question myself and every improvement I've made.

Was the gym worth it? Did I say the right words? Did I try too hard subconsciously? Did I follow these rules right? I replayed everything back the best I could.

For about 3 days I desperately tried to gain back my confidence that I thought I had by messing around with other girls who I didn't really enjoy all that much. Hell, I even talked to a rather larger woman who I wasn't attracted to sexually, but she made for good conversation and helped me realize something.

My conversational skills weren't off, I was physically being the best I could be, and I took all the necessary precautions / followed the rules the best I could. I might have fucked up somewhere along the way, but so did she in the slightest ways. Did that turn me off from her completely? No.

A girl will normally know if she's into you or not. I'm assuming that this girl was just plain lonely for the night and got her hopes up when I came strolling around. I didn't dress out of my league or do anything that wasn't actually me, I presented myself in an unfiltered way that wasn't based on lies or illusions.

I feel that if I did try to be anything that I was not, I wouldn't be happy, because she would love the illusion, not me. This wouldn't work out too well 3 months down the line when I'm sitting in traffic cursing up a storm or revealing something that was filtered through.

During those days, I didn't go to the gym, I didn't answer any texts, I wasn't really horny, and I wasn't hungry. I enjoyed sleeping though.

Granted, that's actually pretty natural. I spent those days finding out what I did wrong. If I got rejected and just kept up my old ways, I would plateau. Here I am a week later hitting the gym harder, reading more and more, and carrying out all self-improvement with some motivation.

The girl who I really enjoyed just didn't enjoy me that much. Maybe in 5 years when I'm a better person she'd like me better, but for now, she doesn't. I presented myself in an unfiltered way because I didn't have any intention of fucking her once and leaving her behind. Granted, I think I've found something much better since then and I can only hope it'll work out. If it doesn't, I'll find what I did wrong and keep moving upwards. I might feel like shit during that time, but I have to embrace it to actually find out what I did wrong.

Embrace the suck and learn from it.

What say you TRP? Is that reasonable?