Being honest sexually. The balance of owning your sexuality and being aroused versus being creepy. How does this spectrum look?

Zombie3185960 · 2022-01-07T18:48:31+00:00

Psychologically healthy women will start giving increasingly obvious green lights when they are receptive to sexual escalation. The best strategy is to mirror your escalations to her level of green lighting. If she stands closer you can stand closer. If she goes for an arm touch you can go for nonsexual touching. She will get very close to your face and linger if she wants you to kiss her. If she brings up sex in conversation she's letting you know it's okay for you to match her, ie she makes a risky flirty joke you can talk that way, too.

Common issue is men expecting this stage to come way sooner than it typically does. If you try to rush it you'll creep her out.

Other common issue is men expecting it to be a linear process when typically it's not, ie she suddenly pulls away physically that doesn't necessarily mean you screwed up or that she lost interest, many women "dip their toes in" and then assess, just be chill about it and wait for another green light. It's kind of like taming a squirrel, just because she eats out of your hand doesn't mean she won't bolt for a tree when you make sudden movement, also doesn't mean she won't come back down to test the waters again. A major thing she's checking for here is are you tuned into her physiological experience and do you care about it.

Finally it's obviously important to actually respond to green lights if you want to escalate. The memes about how men need huge repeated glaring signs are funny and all but in reality socially competent men are perfectly capable of picking up on natural signs from women. If you have a struggle like aspergers syndrome or crippling self doubt then you will need women who are unusually direct. These women are a minority but they exist.

Kograd · 2022-01-07T09:44:58+00:00

There are no rules, it depends on the person. Some people like unfiltered dirty talk early on, some people hate it. You’ve gotta play the course you’re on.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-07T09:18:33+00:00

Be honest but not crude. If you carry yourself with the attitude of "I'm a man, you are a woman, and it just works because that's how nature has meant us to be", women will just get it. But if you show up as a guy who sees women as enemies, targets, conquests, sets or unattainable goddesses up on a pedestal that need to be impressed, you will always struggle.

2022-01-07T08:57:25+00:00

Telling a woman what you wanna do to her when you see her is creepy if you never had sex with her.

Title	Being honest sexually. The balance of owning your sexuality and being aroused versus being creepy. How does this spectrum look?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	January 7, 2022 8:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ry31sa/being_honest_sexually_the_balance_of_owning_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-honest-sexually-the-balance-of-owning-your.1269516 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269516

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