So the other night I (25M) was at a party, I didn’t intend to go to this party to meet anyone, my roommate invited me to his Halloween frat party and I wasn’t going to do anything anyway so I said why not.

When I was there I continued to keep my focus on my roommate and his friends I met on several occasions. While I did get a few hints or looks. I still chose not to make any moves. (Ill explain below) Then this girl arrives. Literally filled in each checkmark to my metaphorical list in what I look for in a girl. Ethnicity preferences, height preference. Even dressed up as a character from a movies series I used to be SO into, so easy way in.

I had been playing beer pong before her arrival so I was tipsy, I don’t believe in liquid courage so I sat around waiting to sober up. But friends being friends, they dragged me to her so I wouldn’t lose my opportunity. Approaching girls is a pretty regular thing for me so fear of rejection wasn’t an issue, and also it was hard to find her alone, she was practically glued to her friend.

I finally got to speaking to her. Lets name her Mia. Mia (26) didnt know much about the character she was dressed as so I just looked like a dweeb lol. But I still steered the conversation in the right direction and got her number as well as found out where she was from.

She had walked away to join her friend in playing beer pong so I just assumed id talk to her again later and pick up where we left off. About a half hour later I see her speaking to someone else. I think no biggy, she’s very pretty she’s bound to be bombarded by half the guys here. Buut since I’m posting on here there’s obviously no happy ending to this.

As their conversation grew longer, he started getting touchy feely with her, and that progressed to them even beginning to make out in a corner, THEN her leaving with him. To hookup I can only assume. Which I have to admit frustrated me very much. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t jealousy ENTIRELY per say, but a bit of annoyance with myself by allowing this to slip through my fingers. In the past 6 months I’ve been very dedicated to my fitness, fat loss, gym time and my business idea I’ve been trying to bring to life. So I had let many opportunities pass just because I want to remain focused on what I’m up to.

So the reason my frustration built up is because I finally shut that annoyingly overly disciplined voice in my head and finally enjoy myself with a girl, just to lose it? I was kicking myself, metaphorically of course. One thing I’m sure is worth mentioning is that Im not too familiar with the party scene. I suppose my lax nature of going about things might’ve been my downfall. I’m like this with just about everything and this is honestly the first time it’s failed me so.. horrendously. This guy clearly knew what he was doing and had probably done this before. To be fair hooking up isn’t entirely my thing but I wouldn’t exactly say no if the opportunity arises.

Once the crowd began to settle, I was helping a drunk friend into their car and I overheard the host of the party asking Mia how’d it go with me and I heard her say “oh well he has my number”. So, I guess my question here is. Do I still text her? I feel I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. If I do, it’s like I’m saying “hey yeah I watched you make out, walk by me with (like I didn’t just get your number a few hour ago) and leave with him and I have no problem with that because I have no self respect, still down to date?” or do I not text her and come off petty? I did some digging on the guy after the party died down to find out he’s significantly younger than her so i don’t know if it went further than a one night stand. But anyway, should I still text her? Maybe she got the impression that’d id get to know her after the party and whatnot. But also and more importantly would like to learn from my mistakes to avoid this happening again in the future.

Edit: TLDR: got a girls number at a party, played it slowly afterwards only to lose her to another guy who she left to most likely hook up with, and did not make any effort to hide it from me (not that she should, she’d walk by me and I obviously noticed) . Is she still worth texting?