~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
Aeon199
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You've been posting here for years. We have told you repeatedly that the path forward involves doing whatever you can to build up social skills. You have continuously come back here asking how to get better results from a social interaction (seduction), without social skills.
Many different things have been suggested which constitute easy baby steps here that a lot of really hard cases have taken to get started.
Finding a social group on a social media platform, like a Facebook group, that meets regularly.
Then you go to their events. People there are open to meeting new people. Even if you are a little awkward, you can give it a try. People can be pretty welcoming at these types of events. A lot of awkward people can be found there or understanding of other awkward people.
If you want pointers about how to find these social groups, then feel free to reply.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
1
I know this be one of my tangents going off what someone else wrote here, but if something like this is accurate enough: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pw41p9/is_tinder_a_scam/hefe74d/
I know this be one of my tangents going off what someone else wrote here, but if something like this is accurate enough:
https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pw41p9/is_tinder_a_scam/hefe74d/
That post had to be taken down. Tinder is an app. Being successful at it requires something more like marketing skills, not social skills.
Being able to pick out good pictures for a profile and come up with ad copy actually enables someone to hold a good conversation. Those are two different skill sets.
So the whole subject of Tinder is irrelevant.
2
We're talking about a fringe/alternative community, which this seasoned veteran (if he is to be believed) claims is elitist.
That guy is not a seasoned veteran. If you looked at his comments on that thread, people offer him basic advice like suggesting to go outside and interact with people in the real world, and he reacts with negativity and dismissiveness to everything.
Why? Because he, on some level, would rather stew in his own pessimism then lift a finger to do anything to improve his situation.
3
It makes me think real-life could only be equally bad if not worse in some ways, even though there aren't strict analogues to be made between niche alternative and mainstream/"general" scenes.
This is what I am talking about when I keep mentioning negative self-talk. We all have this problem to deal with: boys that pipes up in our heads and tells us negative things. Tells us we're not good enough, tells us we're going to fail, etc.
This negative self-talk is what's operating in your head when you see a completely unrelated post about some guy complaining about his lack of marketing skills on a social media app, and you apply it to real world social interactions, when Tinder has nothing to do with how good someone is it socially interacting in person.
Not a goddamn thing.
4
Think of it this way, with the way hypergamy appears to be concentrating even thicker in the Social Media Revolution, what kind of success could a man entering mid-life--without status, money, or even bare-minimum normality--hope to have?
I'll put it to you this way, you have said yourself repeatedly that you don't really socially interact with people and mostly stay inside. If this is still true, then all your thoughts about what it's like out there in real life social situations, are not based on real data. They're based on a negative self-talk that is incredibly biased and is going to make up the worst possible narrative.
5
We've been through this before, but I need a reappraisal now, because even more time has been lost.
We have been through this before. And every time you seemingly dismiss all practical advice to go outside (?) and develop your social skills, and then complain that you can't get successful results in social interactions.
Are you currently in therapy by chance? I'm curious what your therapist would say about you going outside and interacting with people.
[–]Aeon199[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That guy is not a seasoned veteran. If you looked at his comments on that thread, people offer him basic advice like suggesting to go outside and interact with people in the real world, and he reacts with negativity and dismissiveness to everything. Why? Because he, on some level, would rather stew in his own pessimism then lift a finger to do anything to improve his situation.
Did you read the same long comment I linked to? By "WillgoWaggins"? I checked the rest of his comments in the thread. His story is consistent throughout, so far as I could tell. I'm aware of just how tangential this is to my own situation, it's just... I'll try and give you the reasoning there of why I brought that up.
I just found his comment about that alternative scene to be so bleak and also illustrative in a broader sense of how so many guys are viewed today, on the romantic/sensual scene at large. I view this like, it's a similar deal across all platforms, including real-life to an extent. Different scenes, similar problem. That being, there's just so much indifference and shrugging of shoulders... unless the social status/money comes around, maybe then, there's a guy that "exists"... the others? Not so much.
Real life is organic and often spontaneous, that much is true. However, we're still looking at the fact that I'm a guy knocking on mid-life's door... on the spectrum, no credentials... living quite abnormally. In any hypothetical approach/encounter, those things are still there, the embarrassment casts a shadow... y'know the deal.
We have been through this before. And every time you seemingly dismiss all practical advice to go outside (?) and develop your social skills, and then complain that you can't get successful results in social interactions. Are you currently in therapy by chance? I'm curious what your therapist would say about you going outside and interacting with people.
Quite frankly I have gone backwards to an extent. Social anxiety and avoidance are worse than before. I'll keep it at that, for now.
[–]Mr_Arkwright 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I imagine he shall return shortly to ask the same questions.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Aeon199[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mr_Arkwright 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link