This is a post I'm writing to answer a question a fellow Alchemist(my word for us PUA's, we seek the deeper nature behind things to transform ourselves from lead to gold , were scientists out there seeking to find the truth and master ourselves and also it just sounds cool when me and my friends say it). Ill start with some Ideas and theories I have followed by a some examples Ive had and ending with references to books, talks and hard information to continue this yourself

DISCLAIMER; I'm not a coach, I am not the grandmaster with irrefutable facts. These are submissions of my experiences and method, I'll try to avoid speaking in absolutes like saying things such as 'all girls this" or "no girls do that". There's always exceptions to the rule and every girl is different so when I do say girls this...or girls that...im taking about the majority. Also every thing I'm saying is truthful. I'll avoid exaggerations and ill make sure to clarify things like ; saying a technique ive done has worked on every girl every time I've done it, but I've only tried it 5 times or shit like that.

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Now the best way to begin is with a little theory and base line agreement on some ideas.

The one universal fact I feel like we can all agree on is that the most interesting thing a person is interested in is Themselves. People thrive for a chance to make their idea of themselves a reality by framing things their way and expressing it to the next.

I've noticed girls go hard with their image and identity, everything they want to talk about or story they want to share are like little subtle bragging things about how caring, selfless, generous and desirable they are. So its good to have this in the forefront of your mind when talking to one. We want to recognize what they are trying to brag about and acknowledge it openly and this will give them that endorphin rush they seek making the moment "magical", giving her that chemistry connections she's looking for. It's funny(and depressing ) actually when you realize that people want to meet people acting like their lives and experience is what we want to hear but in reality we just cant wait for our turn to talk to see the impressed or shocked look on peoples faces when we tell them our coolest story or about our cool job.

The next thing I want to mention is the difference between how girls tell stories and how guy tell stories. This has been Broken down and decoded in a lot of PUA programs and advice. Guys tell stories to get right to the point of what happened. main details in a timeline, some of us have learned to be more entertaining and how to embellish but for the most part its things like " I showed up to the party was hanging out in the bathroom and this chick followed me in there, she was giving me the fuck me eyes since I walked in and I knew she was DTF as soon as she followed me into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. So I whip my dick out and her mouth came around it like a MEAT SEEKING MISSLE". <----Now something like that actually happened to me once and though im skipping a million details the point im trying to show is thats how our stories go. Now Girls do their shit a little differently. The re-live and reexperience a story, they want their Gal-pals to know not just what and how it happened but they wat them to feel it happen too. their stories are closer to shit like " So when I seen him walk into the party I could just feel the chemistry the moment we locked eyes, the drinks at that point had started to catch up to me and I was even feeling a little hot from standing next to the DJ both. so I'm drunk, a little hot and pretty horney so when I notice that he'd been looking at me most of the night too my heart was just bouncing and BLAH BLAH BLAH you get the idea. Its all about how things felt to them, Emotions play a huge role in why girls do what they do(for guys its the logical solution to the issue) so when they want another girl to understand WHY they did something like blow a dude in the bathroom of a house party they need to lay the groundwork of their feelings first.

Now this is how we utilize this . The questions we ask a girl when shes telling us a story needs to feeling based questions. We want them to reexperience positive emotions when telling us something because thats how we'll make that "connection" they crave. So do this; first explain in very shortly why youre asking then ask them "wow! hold on so whats going through your mind at the time?" "how amazing did it feel when you did... " " there must have been such a rush ....how were you ale to go on even though you felt..."

"so I'm just wondering because I've never spoken in front of a crowd before, what were the feelings going on in your body? I would have been so scared and nervous if i were you"

"well since I love animals too Im just wondering how happy you must have felt just picking up your new puppy for the first time and FEELING HIS SOFT FURR AS you hug him or kiss him"

the reason we give a tiny explanation first is because when we ask question after question to keep her talking it sometimes can start to feel like a job interview or just make it really obvious that were asking questions we dont care about the answer to we only want her to think we do, so to avoid this we have to appear more engaged.

another easy thing to do when shes talking that will get her to keep talking is this; REPEAT THE LAST THING SHE SAID RIGHT BACK AT HER AS A QUESTION. Peoples nervous systems will automatically react to hearing the words they use. this not only gets her talking but it helps her feel understood on a deep level because her nervous system recognizes that her mental linguistic blueprint is matched with yours. so this is how it looks

HB: "so the other day I was walking to the store and it totally freaked me out"

Alchemist: "totally freaked you out?"

HB: "yea totally, it was pitch black on the stores corner because of a broken street lamp that I couldnt tell if someone was hiding in the darkside of the dumpster"

ALchemist: "youre saying it was pitch black? How were you able to be so brave even though you couldnt tell if someone was hiding on the darkside of the dumpter"

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and so on and so on, this becomes useful too when were trying to find commonalities with a girl so we start with the basics of "what do you do or work" "what do you do for fun" ect but shes not really giving us anything we can hit on. when that happens we tend to keep trying to ask about different things about themselves till we find a commonality. BUT WE DONT HAVE TO.

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the first thigs theyll usually start talking about is probably the most interesting to them, but we need to learn how to do deeper not wider in our conversations.

I you ask a girl what she does for fun and she says she loves to dance but you dont know shit about dancing or care about it that much you might keep the conversation going by saying "what kind of dancing do you do?" BUT THIS GETS YOU NO WHERE, going into more specifics about the topic wont give you the chance youre looking for to find something better to talk about, Instead we play back into what I was saying about emotions.

"Really?! you dance? well see ive never learned to dance or ever had to perform in front of people so im just wondering whats that feel like? i can only imagine the thoughts running through your mind and how good it must feel to be totally free and unafraid.."

Instead of following a question chain that leads to boring conversation, you need to remember what I told you before PEOPLE LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES, give them a chance to explain WHY something is their passion. make her FEEL positive emotions by having her explain STORIES about herself NOT FACTS. Do these little things and youll see that your convos with a girl are gonna be WAY more lively and WAY more involved, and when you get good at it you can already see where this becomes VERY USEFUL when you start talking about things like SEX...Youll be able to make her horney, buy doing that with your words and escalating Kino with your hands is how we enter into seduction, Its how im getting her at least to fully understand my intentions and that were not just chit chatting...were connecting on a deeper level.

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You gotta be careful with the Sets that are totally down to talk to you but dont ever make the conversation sexual....you end up talking about politics or sweaters or someshit for 30 mins and get no where. Those girls are worse then getting outright rejected, they will eat up your whole night, We've all seen em. the drunk girl that will talk and talk and talk about her stupid job saving puppies or whatever the fuck. pay attention for these and GTFO if youre talking to her but cant get it to eventually lead to talking about something real, because even if you arent trying to pull a one night stand and just wanna get her # for a date you STILL need to get that emotional driver going.

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I know this has been a long post and Ill touch deeper on this topic again in another post. but as promised heres some material I think would be very beneficial to you guys. Ill start small with just a few. these things totally changed my outlook on how to be a better listener to girls.

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  1. the book HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE by CARANGIE DALE
  2. Mind Control Skills - Empathic Super Powers for Connection, Influence and Rapport - YouTube

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This has been more geared towards how I listen, Ill post in the comments or another post more geared on how I tell stories and how I engage them in talking about myself