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[–]lizardgang 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Be direct without asking. Like asking for permission to kiss without being able to tell whether or not she wants to might have been a turn off. Additionally if she did turn the cheek a little bit, she might not be all that interested in you. Could be fortitude against past experiences as well, so keep that in mind. Read her body language. What do you remember about her body language on your prior dates? Every detail counts but make no assumptions.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
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[–]lizardgang 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Definitely be romantic, instead of the professing your feelings route.
You gotta get her mood going, but also respect her mood. Showing her you care about her and her feelings is a good start. Supporting her is a good follow up. Try buying her flowers. Remember the little things she tells you that she likes and see if you can surprise her with any of them, as long as they're appropriate. If the chemistry is right, then her body language with give indication as to when you are good to go.
Basically if she's showing signs, DON'T be shy. It'll turn her off. But if she isn't in the mood at the moment when you are, respect that as well because she'll pick up on all of it. If you're too eager, or showing signs of desperation, she'll pick up on it.
Another thing: be wary of chemistry. You'll learn with experience that sometimes it takes a while to realize someone isn't compatible with you. Nothing negative about that. There's a lot of confusion in the dating scene these days. The thing you said about mismatched chemistry where you were feeling romantic at a time when she might not have been, and she was feeling open at a time when you weren't ready......that stuck out to me. It's not a death sentence on an endeavor but being romantically synchronized is a big part of a successful date. If you two have a "little bit of chemistry," but are always on a "coming and going" tangent then it inevitably won't work out. Keep that in mind.
Happy to help with anything you've got. I would like to see this be a success story.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]lizardgang 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well, I feel you but start with this habit now: don't lie to her.
Look, unless you've got some deep dark classified secrets that she really doesn't need to know.....try your best to be truthful with her always. Women these days can't trust men. Sooo every chance you have to be honest is always key. She'll definitely pick up on that too. And trust me, if you ever get into some real bullshit, she'll be in your corner if you've been truthful with her.
Little things, bud. Best of luck. Will look out for updates.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lizardgang 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True. You are very welcome.
[–]TheSunshineMan 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is it a good idea to just tell her that I do look forward to dating her and not being friends?
No, no, no, no.
Just ask her out again, and follow the advice I gave you in my other comment - escalate throughout the date - otherwise I pretty much guarantee you she will tell you "you're nice, but she doesn't feel a connection" and then it's GAME OVER.
[–]TheSunshineMan 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Did you do a lot of other sexual flirting with your eyes and touching - before you went in for the kiss at the end.
You can't go from no sexual eyes, flirting, and touching to a hail marry kiss at the end.
I'm guessing that's exactly what happened here?
Plus don't ever ask a girl if you can kiss her - this shows you have zero self confidence in yourself.
But I'm guessing you did this, because you're new to girls and sexual escalation, no problem.. but don't do this in the future.
You should be flirting, seducing with your eyes, body language, and touching with the girl from the very first minute of meeting.
Go watch 20 YouTube videos about How to escalate with a girl videos - take notes - and implement next time you see her (but there's a good chance you've already lost her from what you posted in this post)
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